Quotes About Validation

The attentions of others matter to us because we are afflicted by a congenital uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others' appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgements of those we live among.

We each appear to hold within ourselves a range of divergent views as to our native qualities.. And amid such uncertainty, we typically turn to the wider world to settle the question of our significance.. we seem beholden to affections of others to endure ourselves.

We don't exist unless there is someone who can see us existing, what we say has no meaning until someone can understand, while to be surrounded by friends is constantly to have our identity confirmed; their knowledge and care for us have the power to pull us from our numbness.

Our "ego" or self-conception could be pictured as a leaking balloon, forever requiring the helium of external love to remain inflated, and ever vulnerable to the smallest pinpricks of neglect.

We should forever forswear the masochistic process wherein we seek another's approval before we have even asked ourselves whether that person's views deserve to be listened to.

Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgements of those we live among.

Rejection hurts so much because we take it as a damning judgement passed not merely on our physical appeal but on our entire selves, and by extension (at this stage we're crying into our pillow, as something by Bach or Leonard Cohen plays on the stereo) on our very right to exist. 2.

Every adult life could be said to be defined by two great love stories. The first—the story of our quest for sexual love—is well known and well charted, its vagaries form the staple of music and literature, it is socially accepted and celebrated. The second—the story of our quest for love from the world—is a more secret and shameful tale.

What dangers are posed by those touchingly insecure men who, unsure of their own powers of attraction, need to keep finding out whether they are acceptable to others.

Ce pericole produc acei b?rbaÈ›i înduio??tor de nesiguri care, necunoscându-È™i propria for?? de atracÈ›ie, au nevoie s? afle mereu dac? sunt acceptabili pentru alte persoane!

Kendimizi bildik bileli burçlara ve kiÅŸisel fallara merak duymam?z?n nedeni,anla??lma tutkumuzu uyand?r?yor olmalar?d?r.

Does what is praised becomes better? Does an emerald become worse if it isn't praised? And what a gold, ivory, a flower or a little plant?

Delusions are not harmful in themselves, they only hurt when one is alone in believing in them, when one cannot create an environment in which they can be sustained.

F?r? dragoste, ne pierdem capacitatea de a avea o identitate real?; în dragoste exist? o constant? confirmare a sinelui

The attentions of others matter to us because we are afflicted by a congenital uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others' appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgements of those we live among.

In conversations, my priority was to be liked, rather than to speak the truth. A desire to please led me to laugh at modest jokes like a parent on the opening night of a school play.

if we are prone to burst into tears after only a few harsh words about our character or achievements, it may be because the approval of others forms an essential part of our capacity to believe that we are right.

But then books, as I'm sure you know, seldom prompt a course of actions. Books generally just confirm you in what you have, perhaps unwittingly, decided to do already. You go to a book to have your convictions corroborated. A book, as it were, closes the book.

If you know something is true, you don't need to convince anyone of it. If you are trying to convince anyone, it is probably yourself.

Everyone is continuously finding evidence to prove what they want to believe.

People ho need to be right do so because they fundamentally feel wrong.

The central idea in this book is that highly aroused, negative emotion—dysregulated emotion—is the core problem for high-conflict couples and that there are specific skills partners can learn to manage their emotions effectively, which in turn makes effective communication (accurate expression followed by understanding and validation) possible.

And, finally, how others respond to us—particularly people we are close to—shapes the direction of our emotion in very important ways. Certain responses, such as understanding and validating our experience, soothe our frayed emotional edges, but others, such as criticizing or invalidating our experience, are like salt in an open wound in our hearts.

Aunque un enunciado pueda ser calidicado de hecho observable porque ha superado todas las pruebas a las que se le haya sometido hasa cierto momeno, esto no quiere decir que necesariamente superará los nuevos tipos de prueba posibles a la luz de los adelantos en el conocimiento y en la tecnología.