Quotes About Perception

All men think all men mortal, but themselves

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.

You know what they say about men with big feet...big socks.

Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm, unless thou art raw.

People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.

What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not seen the joke?

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

I'd rather laugh in bed than do it. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to tell me jokes. Would that be perverted?

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.

I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.

Women must tell men always that they are the strong ones. They are the big, the strong, the wonderful. In truth, women are the strong ones. It is just my opinion, I am not a professor.

If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't.

When you make a mistake, those who truly know you will understand what you meant to make and will help fix it, but those who don't know you well enough, will see it as a total failure and will help to complicate it.

One man's trash is another man's treasure. When one man find pain, one will find pleasure. I don't care about who was here before me the only thing that matters is if you are here with me now

Don't compare twitter with reality. You have tons of followers doesn't mean they are many people out there supporting you.

Teaching should be such that what is offered is perceived as a valuable gift and not as a hard duty.

Your tax dollars are being used to pay for grade school classes that teach our children that cannibalism, wife-swapping and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior

The Italians have voices like peacocks - German gives me a cold in the head - and Russian is nothing but sneezing

When a white army battles Indians and wins, it is called a great victory, but if they lose it is called a massacre.

Indians love to reduce the prosaic to the mystic

A woman's real beauty usually manifests in the early morning when she wakes up, than during the day when she makes up.

The world is an old woman, and mistakes any gilt farthing for a gold coin; whereby being often cheated, she will thenceforth trust nothing but the common copper