Quotes About Perception

I am originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana - mafia.

I don't say things to be offensive; I say things because they're funny to me. It amuses me.

Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it.

Stupid National Anthem... Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? "Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit."

There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Sometimes they laugh at things I don't think are funny, but I believe if they're laughing at me, it's a good show.

Everybody just lets the media do their thinking for them... that's why you'll never hear any reggae on the radio!

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

They say that if the Swiss had designed these mountains they'd be rather flatter.

My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on.

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.

I'm like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinnier version of Lily Allen.

Gentlemen, listen to me slowly.

I didn't see the time, largely because there wasn't one.

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

In comedy, though, it's good to get feedback from the audience about what they find funny.

Race makes things funny. A black guy driving in NASCAR: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Tide: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Aunt Jemima: hilarious.

Let me assure you that the humourless as a bunch don't just not know what's funny, they don't know what's serious. They have no common sense, either, and shouldn't be trusted with anything.

Let's face it, most pretty girls aren't funny.

I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me.

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.