Quotes About Perception

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.

You can construct the character of a man and his age not only from what he does and says, but from what he fails to say and do.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

He to whom the present is the only thing that is present, knows nothing of the age in which he lives.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

A film is never really any good unless the camera is an eye in the head of a poet.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'di..', and 'Colon'.

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.

A man explained inflation to his wife thus: 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.'

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

He must be the only man alive who can eat an apple through a tennis racket.

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Beauty is in the heart of the beholder.

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the difference.

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

Most fools think they are only ignorant.

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

There's terrific merit in having no sense of humour, no sense of irony, practically no sense of anything at all. If you're born with these so-called defects you have a very good chance of getting to the top.