Quotes About Money

It's your money. You paid for it.

Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit.

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.

Einstein used science to get laid. That guy is a genius. I've been using money.

My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.

In America people have this funny idea about enlightenment and money. Money expresses a level of commitment. Studying enlightenment is like going to a university.

If you don't follow the stock market, you are missing some amazing drama.

It's funny - nowadays people that are famous get chased by paparazzi. They have this fame, but they don't have the money to hide from it.

I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all.

If you wagered $5,000 on each of my winning NFL picks in 2012 and $500 ($550) on each of my losing picks, you'd be ahead $70,050. Wow.

Writing this book required an enormous amount of help from friends. To them goes the credit. I'll take the money.

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.

When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5, 000 dollars or your back

. . . you worked for Harry King, they said, because a broken leg was bad for business, and Harry King was all about business.

If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is.

In the long run, it's not just how much money you make that will determine your future prosperity. It's how much of that money you put to work by saving it and investing it.

Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?

Stephen Hunt's goals are priceless... that's why he's worth £ 4 million

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, 'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".'

When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.