Quotes About Empathy

This is really important information for parents to understand, because it means that all of the abilities on the list above—the behaviors and skills we want and expect our kids to demonstrate, like sound decision making, control of their emotions and bodies, empathy, self-understanding, and morality—are dependent on a part of their brain that hasn't fully developed yet. Since the upstairs brain is still under construction, it isn't capable of fully functioning

One of the best ways to promote this type of integration is to help retell the story of the frightening or painful experience.

Even if an emotion seems ridiculous to you, don't forget that it's very real to your child, so you don't want to dismiss something that's important to her.

sense of danger, we cannot activate what Porges calls the social engagement system. And we don't access what I've called a self-engagement system either (see

Como padres, estamos programados para intentar proteger a nuestros hijos de todo sufrimiento y dolor, pero en realidad eso es imposible. Nuestros hijos se caerán, se sentirán heridos y sufrirán miedo, tristeza y enfado. De hecho, a menudo estas experiencias difíciles son las que les permiten crecer y descubrir el mundo.

You won't always be able to discipline in a way that both connects and redirects.

Think about what this information means, practically, as we raise kids who don't have constant access to their upstairs brain. It's unrealistic to expect them always to be rational, regulate their emotions, make good decisions, think before acting, and be empathetic—all of the things a developed upstairs brain helps them do.

6. NOS OLVIDAMOS DE CENTRARNOS EN CÓMO DECIMOS LO QUE DECIMOS Lo que decimos a los niños importa. Naturalmente. Pero cómo lo decimos es igual de importante. Aunque no resulta fácil, hemos de proponernos ser amables y respetuosos cada vez que nos comuniquemos con nuestros hijos. Es muy posible que no siempre demos en el clavo, pero este debe ser el objetivo.

contingent response," which means that we attune our response to what our child is actually feeling, in a way that validates what's happening in her mind.

The drive to understand why things happen to us is so strong that the brain will continue to try making sense of an experience until it succeeds. As parents, we can help this process along through storytelling.

Integrative communication (App):When individuals are honored for their differences and become linked through respectful and compassionate communication.

Conforme los niños se desarrollan, sus cerebros «reflejan» el cerebro de sus padres.

It is confusing to children if their reality of an experience is denied or misunderstood by their parent or another significant adult, because those are the very people with whom they most need to connect.

By wondering what our kids are trying to accomplish and by allowing them to explain a situation before we rush to judgment, we're able to gather actual data from their

We are not meant to live in isolation, but are dependent on one another for emotional well-being.

To put it simply, asking the why-what-how questions helps us remember who our kids are and what they need.

From parental sensitivity and structure emerge a child's resourcefulness, resilience, and relational ability.

You can become the safe harbor for your own children that you never had as a child.

Sometimes we assume that our kids won't behave the way we want them to, when in reality, they simply can't, at least not in this particular moment.

When we avoid bringing extra chaos and drama to disciplinary situations—in other words, when we combine clear and consistent limits with loving empathy—everyone wins.

Benefit #1: Connection Moves a Child from Reactivity to Receptivity

Another problem with spanking is that it teaches the child that the parent has no effective strategy short of inflicting bodily pain. That's a direct lesson every parent should consider quite deeply: do we want to teach our kids that the way to resolve a conflict is to inflict physical pain, particularly on someone who is defenseless and cannot fight back?

It means being there for your kids. It means being physically present, as well as providing a quality of presence. Provide it when you're meeting their needs; when you're expressing your love to them; when you're disciplining them; when you're laughing together; even when you're arguing with them.

So when children feel furious, dejected, ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed, or out of control in any other way, that's when we need to be there for them. Through connection, we can soothe their internal storm, help them calm down, and assist them in making better decisions