Quotes About Sarcasm

I was just reaching for my knitting needles when Mary Alice gripped my arm. "Play nice," she murmured. "I wasn't going to kill him," I muttered back. "But a little light stabbing might teach him some manners." "Focus on the job. I'll trip him when we get inside," she promised. "That's real friendship," I told her.

Here, Mary Alice. Drink this and I'll see if I can find you a flashlight." Mary Alice furrowed her brow. "Flashlight?" "To find the stick up your ass. Let me know if you need a hand getting it out," Natalie said sweetly.

When your IQ rises to 28, sell.

With good parody, you have to be smarter that the people you're parodying.

The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.

Zingers should glow with intelligence as well as drip with contempt.

You can fake intelligence, but you can't fake wit.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

He did not joke, as the newspapers dared report, for sarcasm is bitter and conceals ferments of despair.

But," she said to the priest, "I'm not dead yet. I've heard the angels farting on the ceiling.

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud.

Peabody had better retire to her bed; she is clearly in need of recuperative sleep, she has not made a sarcastic remark for fully ten minutes.

Any man with a grain of sense knows that marriage is the only way, these days, to acquire a full-time maid who works twenty-five hours a day, with no time off and no pay except room and board. (p9)

If you're right and my life sucks, I'll just have to marry an ugly, old billionaire. The first time he sees me naked, which will be on our honeymoon, he'll have a heart attack and die. I'll inherit his entire fortune. You can be my chauffeur.

I'm sure Uncle Eddie won't kill him. He'll probably just maim him a little." "No," Uncle Eddie said. "I won't." "Okay," Gabrielle said. "So he'll maim him a lot . But Hale can take it.

So, either they love pasta or are a family of axe murderers?" I quipped.

Aw, now look at that, you're being sarcastic, aren't you?

Oh, I'm sure an apology will help," Riley said, rolling her eyes. "Hey, we're sorry we stole the past eleven thousand years of your life, here's a gold watch. Have a nice day.

Satire is a weapon, and it can be quite cruel.

I've done pretty well as a professional fed-up. The tools of my trade so far have been irony, tongue-in-cheek mockery, and supercilious contempt, but these are highly civilized weapons designed for 18th-century French salons.

I poke fun of everybody and everything. And who's easier to make fun of than your mother?

I do sarcasm really poorly.