Quotes About Sarcasm

I swear, Oliver, when did you become such a stick-in-the-mud?" "I've always been a stick-in-the-mud." Her brother cast her a thin smile. "I just hid it beneath all the debauchery." She sniffed. "I wish you'd hide it again. It's quite annoying.

Granting our wish is one of Fate's saddest jokes.

Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.

Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket...

AIR, n. A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.

The gods love to laugh at a happy man, however.

You must be fucking joking.

You must be joking.' 'I save my jokes for those with a sense of humour.

And he paddled away in his douche canoe.

Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be kicked in the nuts as soon as they try to get back up. That wasn't in the Bible, but maybe it should've been.

Better than Hope," said Trace. "What the fuck is Hope? Hope for what? An icecream? A quick death?" Bemusement on the faces of several marines. "Uh, isn't that kind of the point?" Arime asked. "That Hope can mean anything you want it to?" "It means nothing," Trace said flatly. "I'm sick of happy bullshit that means nothing. Vacuous words for vacuous minds.

There are many kinds of smiles, each having a distinct character. Some announce goodness, and sweetness, others betray sarcasm, bitterness, and pride; some soften the countenance by their languishing tenderness, others brighten by their spiritual vivacity.

Sarcasm and compassion are two of the qualities that make life on Earth tolerable.

Sarcastic and merciless one, you glory in the pain you give!

Sarcasm is a weapon of the intellectual

When I read the pilot 'for Married with Children', it just reminded me of my Uncle Joe... just a self-deprecating kind of guy. He'd come home from work, and the wife would maybe say 'I ran over the dog this morning in the driveway'. And he would say 'Fine, what's for dinner?

What have you been reading, The Gospel according to St. Bastard?!

The writer who neglects punctuation, or mispunctuates, is liable to be misunderstood for the want of merely a comma, it often occurs that an axiom appears a paradox, or that a sarcasm is converted into a sermonoid.

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.

And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!"

Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit.

If your husband and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?

Oxygen is overrated.

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis.