Quotes from Robert Muchamore

These items ranged from an old gent who wanted a monthly fishing magazine to a brash old lady who requested a particular brand of toilet paper because, The stuff they give you in here leaves your arsehole as red as a radish. After

The north of Islington,' Ning said. 'Some place called Nebraska House.' *

The woman scowled so hard, he half expected a laser beam to shoot out of her eyes. 'This

Sounds like a good laugh. You can count me in!

long and every centimetre was plastered several layers deep with notices. They advertised everything

I don't care if you're the grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan,

Hitler recently set up a meeting with the Chief Rabbi of Berlin. He was desperate to cross the English Channel and threatened to demolish every synagogue in the city unless the rabbi told him the secret of how Moses parted the Red Sea. The rabbi replied that Moses' magic wand was currently on display at the British Museum.

Rage Cola,' Theo said dramatically, before taking a sip. 'Looks delicious. Smells refreshing. Tastes like something scraped out of a monkey's arse crack.

recently famous son of an even better known TV chef.

How would something the size of a Mini get out of a dinosaur's arsehole?' 'How big was a dinosaur's arsehole?' Theo asked, as he grabbed a fourth champagne and passed a second to Eve. 'Are you some kind of arsehole expert, Jay?

Like they say, James: you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

Michael looked around and realized that he was in a school library, with a life-size cutout of Alex Rider staring at him from the opposite side of the room.

Two kids in a stolen car carrying guns and drugs. I tell you what: why don't we attract lots of attention by slaughtering the speed limit?

What is he, a porter or something?

I love your arms,' she sang, as James carried her the long way around the outside of the main building. 'Big manly arms, carrying little Kerry.

Most kids here could kill you in two seconds flat, me included. Bruce is hilarious. He acts all macho, but he's a total baby sometimes. After he finished basic training and got his grey shirt he heard all the little red shirt kids were going on an Easter egg hunt. They wouldn't let him go so he burst into tears. He laid in his room and cried for like, three hours.

Dearest brother, you are an idiot. Sometimes you make me puke. I'll be in training by the time you read this and I wish you were doing it instead of me. PS Happy thirteenth birthday, I love U.

million dollars (3.5 million yuan). Authorities in the United

I can't stand old people," Nicole said bluntly. "You'll be old one day," James said. "Nah," Nicole said. "Live fast, die young, that's my motto.

You will be tomorrow morning when I get my hands on you,' Large snapped. 'Minus ten house points for Hufflepuff. Over and out.

What do you two know about cocaine?' 'Goes well sprinkled on toast,

Some of the cocaine sold at street level is of such poor quality that police have busted dealers and had to release them because the quantity of cocaine in their product is so low that it's not even illegal.

This paperwork gave John Jones and the three young agents immunity from American laws for the duration of the mission.

Your bottom may look very nice, but it does not belong on my sterile work surface.