Quotes from Robert Muchamore

You did a bang-up job, but I can't give you an A because you were up against such feeble opposition.

Falco wasn't your personal property. That old fart's taken more bribes than he's had hot dinners.

Stupid poxy game … Programmed by a Spurs fan, or some other kind of moron.

want?" Kevin asked weakly. James didn't answer the question. "You're now the property of the wolfmen," he grinned. "Mr. Pike has told us that you're a little snot-nosed scaredy-cat. He says you'll never make it through basic training because you're afraid of heights and won't go over the obstacle. Well, until you pull yourself together and stop acting like a pussy,

The last time you lost your cool like this, you ended up throwing Will Clarke off a rooftop.

I've heard of you,' Leon said, as James Adams approached. 'You're the guy that started the epic food fight in the campus dining-room.' James smirked. 'Good to know my legend lives on.' 'I bow down before you,' Alfie said. 'You're the guy that had sex in the campus fountain.' Grace shook her head. 'No, that was Dave Moss.

You know what I really want?' Bruce said. 'Some business cards with Bruce Norris Kicked Your Arse printed on them. I can stick them in people's mouths when I knock them unconscious, just in case they don't remember me when they come round.' 'Bruce, what you need,' Kyle said, 'is some serious time with a psychiatrist.

Is it true you're James Adams?' a puffed-out little grey shirt holding a tennis racket asked. 'The guy who started the food fight and had sex in the campus fountain?

life's a bitch, then you die

Imagine a terrorist pointing a Buddy missile out of a bedroom window in a London suburb and blasting Her Majesty out of bed at Buckingham Palace.

He wondered if you were supposed to pray while naked in the shower, but figured what the hell and pressed his wet hands together.

Bruce, this is Tovah, who absolutely isn't from the Israeli intelligence service.' Tovah smiled and shrugged innocently. 'I barely even know where Israel is.

And I may not be all that I was, but I'll still come at you with a shotgun if you try sticking your penis into my daughter.

I swear, Alfie,' Max said, 'you seriously need help. You're an eleven-year-old sex fiend. Have you ever considered an iced bath, or going for long runs?' 'I'm half French,' Alfie said. 'We're the greatest lovers in the world.' 'Grace is tiny, Alfie,' Max said. 'If you got married you'd roll over in the night and she'd disappear up your arse crack.

But Ben had a bulge under his shirt and she was sure it was a gun.

It's always bad guys,' Salman noted. 'It's like the most sexist thing ever.

hoax played by a drunken officer.

road signs pointing to San Francisco and Las Vegas, American cop cars and sixteen lanes of traffic.

James, would you kindly inform your sister that the glass in this picture frame gives me a very good reflection of everything that's going on outside my window. I want to see Lauren and Bethany in this office and you can tell them that they'll be joining you on gardening duty for the rest of the week.

It was always the same: in the ring you wanted to kill someone, but once you got out you were mates again.

At the end of them, you'll either be a damned good shot or you'll be walking with my boot wedged permanently in your butthole.

Michael looked around and realised that he was in a school library, with a life-size cut-out of Alex Rider staring at him from the opposite side of the room.

Have you ever killed anyone?' Ryan asked bluntly. Clark broke into a big smile and shook his head. 'Hagar wouldn't approve.' 'Why not?' Ryan asked. 'You ever seen a dead man paying a bill?

During Christmas dinner on CHERUB campus, Kerry announced that she and James were 'Surprised but delighted' to be expecting their first child.