Quotes from Author Unknown

You know you are getting old when it takes too much effort to procrastinate.

I do my work at the same time each day — the last minute.

You'll wish that you had done some of the hard things when they were easier to do.

The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow.

To-morrow — the day when idlers work, and fools reform.

Promises are like babies: easy to make, hard to deliver.

I can smell autumn dancing in the breeze. The sweet chill of pumpkin and crisp sunburnt leaves.

October is the month When the smallest breeze Gives us a shower Of autumn leaves. Bonfires and pumpkins, Leaves sailing down — October is red And golden and brown...

A pun is a short quip followed by a long groan.

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs — they always take them literally.

I'm an incorrigible punster. Do not incorrige me.

A picture, it is said, is worth a thousand words, but cannot a few well-spoken words convey as many pictures?

Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color.

Racial superiority is a mere pigment of the imagination.

I like people who smile when it's raining.

When life throws you a rainy day, play in the puddles!

Don't miss all the beautiful colors of the rainbow while looking for that pot of gold.

I have a very firm grasp on reality — I can reach out and strangle it any time.

Who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about.

I considered atheism, but there weren't enough holidays.

Traveler: "God has been mighty good to your fields, Mr. Farmer." Farmer: "You should have seen how he treated them when I wasn't around."

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.

There are ten church members by inheritance for every one by conviction.