Quotes from Author Unknown

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: to rise above the little things.

A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.

There's more to the truth than just the facts.

There's a dividing line but really it divides nothing.

You can't fall off the floor.

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.

Some people should use a glue stick instead of ChapStick®.

So far 2020 is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

Against abortion? Don't have one.

Only half the patients who go into an abortion clinic come out alive.

Acupuncture: proof that stabbing someone can make things better.

Addiction is giving up everything for one thing. Recovery is giving up one thing for everything.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.

Adventure may sometimes hurt, but monotony will kill you.

Don't let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life.

It just wouldn't be a picnic without the ants.

Advertisers constantly invent cures to which there is no disease.

There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

It's important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation — as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.

Middle age is when we can do just as much as ever — but would rather not.

When the problem is not so much resisting temptation as finding it, you may just be getting older.

The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.

If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.