Quotes from John Oliver

News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.

Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.

If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences.

You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well.

Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death.