Quotes from Jasper Fforde

She] used to...insist that puddings at St Granata's be randomly laced with curry powder to 'better prepare us for life's inevitable disappointments.

What about the Now?" "It'll recover, given time. Keep people reading books, Mum; it helps to reinforce and strengthen the indefinable moment that anchors us in the here-and-now. Strive for the Long Now. It's the only thing that will save us.

I watched her leave, smiling to myself. I thought I knew my mother but I didn't. Children rarely know their parents at all.

Mary tuned in the wireless and heard a news bulletin on RadioToadReading informing everyone exactly why they should be panicking and what form this panicking should take.

We promote the cure, thus effecting the slow eradication of our own market

I've heard of it, returned Mary, knowing full well that it was one of the most expensive and exclusive restaurants on the Thames. It was so exclusive, in fact, that most nights the guest never attained the necessary high criteria, and it remained empty.

Looping" was a slang term for Closed Loop Temporal Field Containment. They popped the criminal in an eight-minute repetitive time loop for five, ten, twenty years. Usually it was a Laundromat, doctor's waiting room or bus stop, and your presence often caused time to slow down for others near the loop. Your body aged but never needed sustenance. It was cruel and unnatural—yet cheap and required no bars, guards or food.

Equality is a proven myth.

How was New Zealand?' 'Green and full of sheep

I don't really get the whole intellect-through-isolation thing, I said. I'm not sure anyone can claim to understand the human condition until he's talked two people out of a fight, smoothed over a best friend's marital breakup or dealt effectively with a teenager's huffy silence

There are a lot of idiots in this country," I replied absently, "and they deserve representation as much as the next man.

I work very much on the principle that anything created by mankind has mischief and error hardwired into its inception.

Writing is a subtle art that is reached mostly by self-discovery and experimentation.

He set fire to some potatoes, then cooked some undelivered post in the embers." - Dad "Did he now? What a strange fellow. I would have done it the other way around." - Stafford

Speak to any editor and ask them what they turned down, and they'll have long lists of books.

The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable.