Quotes from Jasper Fforde

there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can't find the correct answer, then you are obviously asking the wrong question.

I had learned from my own father's death many years ago that the end of one's life and dying are two very different things indeed, and took solace in that.

I don't back out of a long and happy make-believe union just when things start getting rocky

extraordinary; I could almost see the Cambrian Mountains

had been with Boswell and SO-27 for eight years, living in a Maida Vale apartment with Pickwick, a regenerated pet dodo left over from the days when reverse extinction was all the rage

I'll tell you what love is," I told her. "It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter!" "That was quite good," said Havisham, looking at me curiously. "Could I use that? Dickens won't mind." "Of course.

Tea?" said Gordon with masterful good timing. "I've made a cake, too." "Thank you.

Wales: not ALWAYS raining

Who's that?" I hissed. "Harris Tweed," replied Havisham. "Dangerous and arrogant but quite brilliant—for a man." "Who

Shall I kill him? said the princess after a pause. My father insisted that I be trained in the art of silent assassination just in case.

Male guilt avoidance syndrome," explained my father. "It's a recognized medical condition by 2054.

I shrugged. "All kids are like that today. It's a modern thing, caused by too much TV, video games and other instant-gratification bullshit. Either that—or kids are exactly the same and I'm getting crusty and intolerant in my old age.

The trouble was, he could read Three Men in a Boat without a single smirk and viewed P. G. Wodehouse as " infantile," so I had a suspicion the affliction was long-lasting and permanent.

Chromatacia…society…ruled by a colortocracy…social hierarchy based upon one's limited color perception, society is dominated by color. In this world, you are what you can see.

no one was taking any chances since a deranged individual had broken into Chawton, threatening to destroy all Jane Austen's letters unless his frankly dull and uneven Austen biography was published.

There's weird shit about; take it for luck.' 'I'm beginning to think there's no such thing.' 'My point precisely.

A Uncorn isn't for page twenty-seven, it's for eternity.

I was learning that the Winter had a curious integrity all of its own.

Show me any major event on this planet, and I will show you the economic reason behind it. Commerce is all powerful, Miss Strange. Commerce rules our lives.

They keep an eye on forgery, illegal dealing and overtly free thespian interpretations. The actor in with them was Graham Huxtable. He was putting on a felonious one-man performance of Twelfth Night. Persistent offender. He'll be fined and bound over. His Malvolio is truly frightful.

No eran simpleas acumulaciones de palabras dispuestas escrupulosamente sobre un página para ofrecer la impresión de realidad... Cada uno de aquellos volúmenes era realidad. La similitud de esos libros con los ejemplares que había leido en mi hogar no era mayor que la similitud de una fotografía con su sujeto: ¡aquellos libros estaban vivos !

Domestic Horticulture Enforcement Agency," explained John as we walked towards the SpecOps building. "SO-32. I'm starting an office here. There's been a rise in the number of hackers just recently. The Pampas Grass Vigilante Squad are becoming more brazen in their activities; pampas grass might well be an eyesore, but there's nothing illegal in it.

She had, in a few short words, utterly defiled, defamed and defaced the finely tuned social order that was the bedrock of the Collective.

I had sequenced Pickwick at home using nothing more complex than average kitchen utensils and cultivated her in a denucleated goose egg.