Quotes from Jasper Fforde

That's insane.' 'If you look around, you won't find much that isn't.

You'll know the beginning easily enough; it's when it all started going weird.

That's the point about failure," I said. "It's an intrinsic part of success. You win some, then you lose some. But with experience and luck, you learn to lose less as the years go on.

Perhaps it was as well that she had been unconscious for four weeks. She had missed the aftermath, the SO-1 reports, the recriminations, Snood and Tamworth's funerals. She missed everything...except the blame. It was waiting for her when she awoke...

I can get a table at the Inn Uendo. The maîtred' is missing a space, and I promised to give her one.

Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough." I

You are the best, most loving, supportive family anyone could ever have, I said through my sobs. I'm so sorry if I'm a burden. They all told me not to be so bloody silly, I told them not to swear, and Landen gave me a handkerchief for my tears.

It is written.

She was, after all, only a rabbit.

Joffy, said Joffy, brother of Thursday. Hamlet, said Hamlet,Prince of Denmark

While most humans are wired to be reasonably decent, a few are wired to be utter shits -- and they do tend to tip the balance.

How about this,' I said. 'We modify our plans with regard to ongoing facts as they become known to us, then remodify them as the situation unfolds. 'You mean make it all up as we go along?' asked Perkins. 'Right.

Tangling with the Goliath Corporation generally left you in one of two places: inside a wooden box with a grieving family outside, or inside a wooden box under six foot of soil with family wondering where you were. The former was if they didn't hold a grudge.

Oh, hullo, Worthing,' he said in a cheery manner. 'How are things?' 'Outlook stormy with a chance of scattered death moving in randomly from all points of the compass.

By spiritual I merely mean that I feel I have good in my soul and am inclined to follow the correct course of action given a prescribed set of circumstances. Do you understand?

There were seven thermonuclear devices? queried Parks, who had latched on to Jack's outlandish explanation without too much difficulty, as should you.

There was a picture of Don Hector on the wall and next to the television was a phonograph with a large collection of cylinders. I looked through them. They were a mixture of old favourites – Dark Side of the Moon, Rumours, Ziggy Stardust – mixed with jazz and a little Puccini.

I am boring, but I'm ok with it. I'm the anchor, the shoulder...I'm an average man...with a truly extraordinary wife

Anything is possible right now. We're in the middle of an isolated high coincidental localised entropic field decreasement.' 'We're in a what ?' 'We're in a pseudoscientific technobabble.

The opposition Prevailingwind Party led by Alfredo Traficcone

I arrived at the Swindon branch of TJ-Maxx at a little after two. I knew as well as anyone that the store hadn't been deliberately set up as a bargain store for end-of-line designer garments, but rather as a high-security facility for the imprisonment of dangerous criminals.

Bipedal movement is the skill of controlled falling, said Square. If it weren't so commonplace, it would seem miraculous - like much out here, to be truthful.

I'm not ready for this!" I hissed. "I'm probably going to fall flat on my face!" " Probably has nothing to do with it; you shall. Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough.

I used the time to get up to date with some reading, filing, mending the car, and also – because of the new legislation – to register Pickwick as a pet rather than a wild dodo.