Quotes from Bill Bailey

I used to live on a houseboat near Hammersmith Bridge.

As a comedian and satirist you have to be neutral, because everyone's fair game. Once you show bias, you lose that.

I'm one for new things: I like new technology, I like new music, I'm not entrenched in some view of what culture should be. I like the fact that it's constantly changing and that language is changing, that behaviour changes.

I've always been reasonably upbeat about most things.

Fatherhood made everything more straightforward. I was relieved that no longer did I have to agonise over what meaning I had in my life.

You spend a lot more time on your own as an only child. And there's space to allow your imagination to take flight.

As I get older, I have a very strong urge to know about stuff. I want to learn the names of trees and birds; that's the sort of knowledge I want to pass on to my son.

Riding a horse and using a phone camera is tricky but if you don't take pictures or record the moment, you lose it. You want to have a record of it.

We live in the age of entitlement, as opposed to enlightenment.

I'm an omnivore, although I am trying to eat less meat. I went vegetarian for about two years, then I suddenly got a craving one morning and that was it.

I'm really grateful for the fact that I have full artistic control over my career. I can choose what film or TV projects I'm interested in doing.

I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'

Now, with the success of musical comedy like the Mighty Boosh, Flight of the Conchords and Bo Burnham, I feel vindicated.

Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.

Stupid National Anthem... Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? "Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit."