Quotes from Carlos Mencia

I'm just trying to be funny, trying to make people laugh, and trying to make the world a better place through some jokes. I don't have words for it. It's so overwhelming.

The cool thing about going to Vegas is that it's kind of like visiting a bunch of cities all at one time. All the shows and great restaurants leave you with a lot of options.

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

I grew up being very patriotic. My parents really love this country. A big part of what they love is freedom of speech... I'm fearless because aren't we supposed to be able to speak our mind?

My birth name is Ned Mencia.

I was only 20, 21. I was basically going to college to get me out of the ghetto. A friend suggested I try stand-up.

In this pessimistic world, especially in America, a positive outlook is very necessary.

I'm a teacher and a philosopher by nature... In the end, I'm trying to teach people to live a better life. And if I can do that on top of entertain, then I leave the world a better place.

In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke.

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!

I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope.

The word 'epiphany' gets thrown around, but truly, the first time I stepped on stage, I had that moment of clarity. I realized God gave me a gift, and this gift is to make people laugh, and this gift should not be wasted on trying to configure some electrical components.

I worked as a comedian for 23 years, 51 weeks a year.

When I'm performing for 4,000, 5,000 people, it's a show. It's a rock n' roll concert.

Is it my fault that there is a stereotype that black people are not good swimmers? I know that's a joke, but somebody will say, 'I can't believe you would say that.' Well, first of all it's just a joke, and second of all if you watch the Olympics, black people win medals in jumping, running. They don't win any in swimming.

My favorite place is Maui. It's almost perfect there - the people, the weather, just everything. No matter how busy you are, when you get to Maui, you chill and relax.

'America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.' It's one of those jokes that doesn't hit people right away, because it's so prevalent that we don't get it.

My comedy is about, lift yourself. See reality. Change the reality if you don't like it. But if you can't, then deal with things as they are because crying about it isn't going to change anything.

I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine. They say, 'I can't believe you talked about this - you're racist.' And I say, 'How can I be racist? Isn't racism exclusionary? If all of you are offended, that means I'm including every race in my jokes.'

I was never funny. I'd be funny once a year at Christmas. I'd do impressions of how people talked and danced, but that stopped when I was about 11.

On stage, I'm really, really tall. I'm five-foot-9, but on stage, I'm, like, six-foot-5.

Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.

I choose to live in a positive world and a positive presence.