Quotes from Carlos Mencia

We don't grow as human beings from good things happening. We grow from failures.

The United States of America on our worst day is better than any other country on their best day. Period. End of story.

If the worst thing happening to Middle Eastern people is that Carlos Mencia is doing a joke about them being stopped at airports, that's a pretty awesome state of affairs.

People live in a place called Tornado Alley - and they're surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I'm sorry when they get hit by tornadoes, but when you live in Tornado Alley you can't really claim surprise.

The easiest thing to do is put someone in a file of somebody you already know. 'Hey, you remind me of Sam Kinison' or 'You remind me of Richard Pryor.' That's fine, because I know that's the process. Eventually, my own file will be created.

The weight loss came about because a buddy of mine who was diagnosed with diabetes because of his obesity told me that I was fat. And I started laughing, and he was like, 'No seriously, you're fat.' And I said, 'Oh wow, really.'

I have 11 sisters and 6 brothers.

My ancestry is really weird, because my great grandfather was from the Cayman Islands, and then his father was from England. But I lose track at that point.

I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh.

If you don't like your job, then change it by getting some better skills. Until then, shut up and get my burger with a smile, like in the commercials.

At the end of the day, my career is not going to be judged by one or two or three moments in time. It'll be judged by the longevity of it.

I hate being judged.

The fact that so many comics were waiting to jump on the bandwagon of hate toward me - what is it about me that engages this kind of behavior? I began to see it: My cockiness, my lack of hanging out with other comics. A lot of that wasn't my fault.

Well, the hard part about doing auditions is that the person reading you the lines, they're not really into it. They're just going, 'Oh really, so why do you think that?' And they're just looking at a piece of paper.

If you ask me right now, you've seen the last of Mind of Mencia. I don't want to be a one-trick pony. I would rather walk away and do more movies, comedy and even some dramatic roles.

It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open... I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that restaurant.

I'm like most people in America. I'm conservative on some things, and I'm liberal on other things.

I grew up Mexican.

I could always talk about being a Latino and having a Mexican mom and a Honduran dad and being from Honduras. That was always an easy go-to place. But on the other hand, it was a crutch.

Just because my name is Carlos Mencia, don't think my show is going to be about the difference between Mexicans and white people.

The beauty of not growing up middle class is that you don't think like the middle class. You don't have anything to protect, you know what I mean?

Shows I've done in war zones are the greatest. The first time I was in Iraq, I kid you not, I felt so uncomfortable having the troops say, 'Thank you.' It's so deep and heartfelt.

When you have a TV show, and you're selling out 10,000 seats or whatever the hell it is, it's not that it becomes easy. It's just that's what your life is like.

I can't imagine how unbelievable it would be to go to the Great Barrier Reef.