Quotes from Jen Lancaster

What's funny is that everyone's so appalled by the notion of hitchhiking now, yet it's totes fine if we pay five dollars for the privilege of riding in a stranger's Lyft.

yesterday in the airport I spent ten minutes expounding on the virtues of Bethenny Frankel from the New York season of the Real Housewives until I realized the person next to me had been talking about a book by Viktor Frankl.

Nearly 70 percent of American adults say they get some of their news via social media."134 That equals a metric shit ton of misinformation being disseminated every second, which means a metric shit ton of livid tweets and comments and angry-face emojis in response.

If someone could harness the power of my love for this dog, I swear I could singlehandedly end our nation's dependence on foreign oil.

Ultimately, my goal in life is to arrive at the finish line without having regrets. I don't want to reflect on my time on this earth and beat myself up for not having made an effort, for not pushing myself, for allowing small obstacles or personal pride to stand in my way. I don't want to be there on my deathbed wondering what was so damn hard about riding a bike in the first place.

The only possible exception to this rule applies to those of us in Generation X, where the outnumbering Boomers refused to be budged. (Yeah, thanks for that.)

you wonder if Amazon sells them because if they do then that's a sign from God, especially if there's a Buy with One Click button and somehow there's a cellular data connection even though you're driving past a field so it's definitely meant to be

instances of egg Kristallnacht when we use a turkey baster to force egg

donut can give you the kind of hug from inside that celery just can't muster.

Cake loves you unconditionally.

Like me, if you're already predisposed to anxiety, positive or negative stimulus on social media can make you feel worse, largely because of the algorithms. At its advent, all updates on apps such as Twitter were delivered chronologically and per our preferences. But now our usage data is measured and monetized, and algorithms put more emotionally weighted events in our timelines, such as engagements, births, and significant accomplishments.

Yeah, history repeats itself; it's called tradition.

My concern is that one can only be outraged for so long before becoming numb. Hate is not an effective long-term solution.

The only force more powerful than what's about to befoul the checkout line is my passionate abhorrence for the lyric "Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip / Mum mum mum mum mum mum / Get a job," so I manage to hold everything together

On the upside, social media can make us feel less alone, providing a crucial shot of dopamine when we need a physiological pick-me-up, for example, when the whole world's reacting to Game of Thrones at the exact same time.

What is it about people casually eating apples that's so infuriating? There's nothing inherently aggravating about someone eating grapes or an orange, but an apple?

if you're going to be a jerk about something, make sure you're funny.

I'm the person who says every single thing she thinks, sometimes to others' amusement, and almost always to my detriment.

anger creates a sense of power and control in a situation where prior to anger these positive, motivating feelings did not exist. The feelings of control and righteousness that come from anger can motivate you to challenge and change difficult interpersonal and social injustices. [. . .] Anger can provide you with a rest from feelings of vulnerability, and a way of venting tensions and frustrations."189

Taking a look at the last decades, it stands to reason that feeding our fears has made us easier to lead, saddling us with only black and white choices on issues nuanced by fifty shades of gray. Divide the people and conquer. Calming down the masses may not be on any leader's agenda, in any party.

I love zucchini. I love everything about zucchini. I love saying the word "zucchini." Zucchini, zucchini, zucchini! Even the individual syllables are charming! You can't not be happy around such a big, green, comical-sounding foodstuff. Zucchini's hilarious and delicious!

If we could just pour that same enthusiasm and competitive élan we use for accumulating things, renovating, or attaining better sleep into our savings accounts and FICO scores, we might start to undo that toxic connection.

I'm through stopping midconversation to post a funny quote because I feel like it's my job. I'm done creating "link-bait." I'm going to be in the moment rather than upload the moment, because the purpose of my life is not public consumption.

A handwritten letter is a treat for me now—quaint!—and you couldn't pay me to pick up your phone call. God help you if you leave a voice mail.