Quotes from Jen Lancaster

What's so scary is that mob rule has displaced due process. The faceless masses are America's new arbiters of justice.

I don't want to measure my success in clicks. I don't want my value as a person determined by retweets. When I die, I guarantee I won't care how many Tumblr followers I've had. And why is anyone following me in the first place, as I've yet to determine where I'm going?

In theory, I'm a Libertarian, but until they find a candidate who didn't graduate from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, I declare myself politically agnostic/independent and will hold my nose while I vote a split ticket for whomever I hate the least.

tsundoku: the act of buying so many books that they begin to pile up in a delightful mess.

Turns out, half of all millennials have at least occasional side hustles.

Mine was an era of children having to accommodate, rather than being accommodated. No parents put their children's tastes and proclivities first. That's a relatively new development. Comedian Maz Jobrani said kids are running the show now, as when he was young, he was forced to play with his parents' friends' kids. Now, as a parent, he's forced to play with his kids' friends' parents.

I'm often forced to lie on the floor and use a rat-tail comb to properly zip them.

When your body becomes accustomed to a chronic state of anxiety, the positive physiological changes that happen after good news can, paradoxically, trigger the sense that something isn't right—simply because you're not used to feeling good.

When clans of yore went out for a meal in my day, there were no crayons, no sippy cups, no serving little Jennifer's unsauced spaghetti early. Generation X kids conducted themselves like tiny civilized sophisticates, because if we misbehaved, we'd enjoy a spanking for dessert instead of the triple-layer chocolate cake

Since 1990, British hospital admissions for food allergies have increased more than 500 percent, and one of the causes is that our diets have changed and expanded to include more processed foods.

The book's an attractive nuisance," Lacey replied, absolutely discounting reason. "These kids are being systematically conditioned to crave pulverized nut spreads. Like brainwashing. Extra-crunchy brainwashing. The school is colluding with Big Peanut Butter, I just know it. I sense Jif's sticky fingerprints all over this story." Fortunately

She makes tsk-tsk sounds as she unpacks grocery sacks full of Pop-Tarts, mini chimichangas, and a frozen patty-based product called "Chykyn Wingzz," which I suspect contains neither chicken nor wings. "Kel

The short-term, dopamine-driven feedback loops that we have created are destroying how society works—no civil discourse, no cooperation, misinformation, mistruth. —Chamath Palihapitiya, former Facebook VP of user growth

Why aren't our leaders advocating for conversation and understanding? DC has ceased to be that shining city on a hill, the very best representation of who we are as a nation.

Being six is the closest most of us will ever come to understanding what it's like to have a butler.

Changing standards of the ideal body have pushed Americans to be thinner and strategically curvier, and then thinner again, yet our country continues to get fatter and fatter. The disparity between the ideal and our reality is making most of us twitchy.

I have issues with my parents, but their greatest gift was forcing me to produce my own results. Through the ups and downs of my life, my work ethic is my most prized characteristic. No matter what kind of pinch I'm in, I can fight my way to the other side with grit and determination.

Of everything parents must worry about today, should "keeping their children's looks fresh" be at the top of the list? How about this—maybe get them vaccinated for measles before fretting about the sell-by date of their ensembles. Why don't we operate on the premise that at age six, kids don't need to establish a personal brand?

By playing to what's most politically correct, I worry we'll never be challenged by the brilliant insights from the next generation's George Carlin and Lenny Bruce, that we'll lose what's genuine and uncomfortable and forces us into introspection

A few years ago, I read an article saying that the mortality rate for comedians is higher than those serving in the military. How heartbreaking is that? When we think of comedy, we think funny, light, and uplifting, never considering those for whom the burden was too much, like Robin Williams, Richard Jeni, Drake Sather, or Charles Rocket.

If you're angry, channel that energy into change. Can you stop China from pumping so many carbon emissions into the atmosphere? Directly? By yourself? Today? No. But you can make a point to buy American products. You can adopt a small portion of highway and orchestrate the cleanup efforts. You can start a recycling program in your office. You can begin to chip away; you can control what you do.

In my mother's mind, all I'd achieved was due to her, and not my own efforts.

The shot that won me over completely was of Coco clad in a pleated army-green skirt, with a matching military sweater, a tiny strand of pearls, a beanie, and wild-print knee socks, all by Gucci: it's like my id and my Girl Scout uniform hooked up in a fitting room at Bergdorf's.

I'm a bundle of nerves, swaddled in a blanket of panic.