Quotes from Noel Fielding

On my show, nobody's being paid more than me. I don't ask what they're being paid - I just make sure they're not getting more than me.

You're still young. Don't panic. It's hard to know what you should be doing in your 20s. Try different things, have some fun, and see what happens.

My parents had lots of parties. They were hopelessly bohemian. They were just 18 when they had me.

The Monkees? I heard that they were quite into their party scene at one point.

Fame is like being at a party and getting invited into the cool room even the VIPs can't get into, then the even cooler, more exclusive room after that. Eventually, you end up in a cubicle on your own, asking, 'Am I having fun?'

I guess standup is really painting pictures with words - especially for me, as I describe quite fantastical, visual things. My art teacher, Dexter Dalwood, always seemed to think they were linked. We bonded over our love of Vic Reeves.

My friends who have kids look like they haven't been to bed for a year.

I love the Marx Brothers.

I'm involved with this exhibition, which is a collection of Nobby Clarke's photos of the opening night of my own art exhibition.

When we got quite big and were generating a lot of money through the arenas, we became quite a big thing, and a lot of managers appeared, and it became a big machine, like we were in Pink Floyd or something, and I don't think we were into that. We didn't really compromise.

I like to warm them up with stand-up, get them into my world and tone, and then bring other characters on. There's so much you can do theatrically on stage. You keep changing the direction and angles, and then people don't get bored.

When I was 14, I had a job in a cake shop. I got caught by the boss, lying down eating cake, and was sacked on my first day.

Gay people are all like Superman. You have to be quite strong to be gay - or to be different in any way. You build special muscles.

I just like magical, fantastical stuff. I don't really see it as surreal when I'm writing. It's just, I write, and then I have an idea, and usually, they're quite odd.

They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.

When you're a kid and someone's an artist, you think of Leonardo da Vinci. You don't think that's a job; you just think of a man with a beard painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.

It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!

No means yes in grasshopper language.

Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.

When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.

Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.

I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.

When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody lifted a finger. That's when I realised that violence wasn't funny. At all.