Quotes from Kathy Griffin

It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She's my lady-in-waiting as well.

I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.

I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.

I did feel very sexy and desirable. Those prisoners looked at me like no man ever did. I don't care how many people they killed.

There's one thing that's really great about waking up early, and it's not jogging or greeting the day - it's just that that's when they make doughnuts.

I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.

I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.

A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.

Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they're pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part.

I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.

That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it.

That's life when you're on the D-list.

If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.

I am an outsider looking in, absolutely. You're not going to see me at the Academy Awards 'Vanity Fair' party any time soon. I'm not somebody who, no matter where I go, there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world, and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.

I'm not somebody who no matter where I go there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.

My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.

The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can't seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it's my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.

Life is adventure. Travel is adventure at a different address.

My act is based on my life.

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke!

I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke!

Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.

So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.