Quotes from Don Rickles

Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.

My wife, Barbara, is great. She arranges when I do work that I have a day off between performances.

Everything I've performed has been from my own head.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

Sinatra had a lot of mood swings, but he was wonderful to my wife Barbara and to me. He made no bones about who he liked and who he loved, and he had this great charisma. When he walked into a room, it stopped. I've only seen that happen with Ronald Reagan.

Bob Newhart, who is my best friend, is one of the guys I adore.

My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss.

Many, many years ago, I stood on the stage and told bad jokes and did Sophie Tucker as an impersonation, and nobody looked up; and suddenly, I looked down and said, 'Sir, I'm getting fed up with you. Either you watch, or I'm going to suck your neck,' or words to that effect, and suddenly people started to laugh.

Honestly, I didn't realize it - all of a sudden, I was 90. The years skipped by quickly. When it happened, I said, 'Where did the time go?'

In our day we went from - we went into saloons. We couldn't cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you're a major movie star, you know.

So, I'm on the satellite every Sunday, no matter where we are, with the Rams. Turn on the satellite; got to watch the Rams.

I've been to Philadelphia a lot of times over the years, playing the old Celebrity Room and most of the other clubs around there that don't exist anymore.

An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth.

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

My wife is great. She always goes to the bank to see if the check has cleared.

My father wasn't much for show business. He was an insurance man - very well-liked, very warm. He had a lot of friends.

My father when walked into a room, you could tell that everybody loved him. They really did. He was quite a man. My mother was more into the show biz atmosphere than he was.

I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

I don't get into politics. I know [Donald] Trump, but I don't follow that. That's just an aside for him when he has nothing else to say. He never involved me in any of that stuff.

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

My health, thank God, has kept my brain alive.

In the 45 years I've worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don't even have a hunting license.

When you do comedy, you can't please the world, although I'd like to think that most of my audiences were on my side.