Quotes from Will Rogers

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.

Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

A company is known by the people it keeps.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.

Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

I am just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have been is because I have stayed an old country boy.

There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.

I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money.

Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely

Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion.

Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?"

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you

Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.