Quotes from Bill Cosby

Parents are not quite interested injustice, they are interested in quiet.

People will frighten you about a graduation....They use words you don't hear often... 'And we wish you Godspeed.' It is a warning, Godpeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.

Sigmund Freud once said, "What do women want?" The only thing I have learned in fifty-two years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that.

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle the Vatican has overlooked.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

gray hair is gods graffiti

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.