Quotes from Mindy Kaling

So much of college is girls labeling other girls terrible things when they don't like their behavior, but using concerned language so they have plausible deniability if they get accused of being bitches: That girl is not cheerfully doing what the rest of us are doing, so she is probably "depressed" or "has an eating disorder" or "is weird with guys," and so on.

depression is something that I've come to accept from my creative community and I realize that's probably alien to most people. I don't know why the funniest people I know are also depressed.

It's funny when you decide you don't like someone. I am the kind of person who, if my feelings are unrequited, can completely detach from someone emotionally if I simply put my mind to it. That's why I'm always saying I would be a great serial murderer.

This is a photo of when I directed "Michael's Last Dundies," which I also wrote. In this moment I am explaining what comedy is to Will Ferrell.

The truth is, it's hard to get people to like you, but it's even harder to keep people liking you.

On TV I loved Mickey Mouse, but when I met the actual real-life Mickey, or rather, his impersonator, and he tried to hug me in his warm, fuzzy suit, I recoiled in fear.

Men know what they want. Men make concrete plans. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn't on the floor. Men tip generously. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men go to the dentist. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they're thinking of kissing you.

I think it's actually the more polite thing to do, because I'm not coercing partygoers into some big farewell moment with me. Then other people feel like they have to stop what they're doing and hug me, too. It's time-wasting dominoes.

I told her I don't know if I'll have another baby, but if it meant she would come and live with me, I may just go ahead and do it.

I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat. I want to see you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun.

Years later I realized that the way I had felt during those first few months was correct. I didn't deserve to be confident yet. I happen to believe that no one inherently deserves anything, except basic human rights, and not to have to watch an ad before you watch a trailer on YouTube. So

a honeymoon is, after all, a sex vacation you're giving yourself after a massive party in your honor.

I love you, Mindy! Mindy, look at me, believe me!" "I don't? "Why????" "Because you love me until you don't.

It's just that, the truth is, I have never, ever, ever met a highly confident and successful person who is not what a movie would call a "workaholic." We can't have it both ways, and children should know that. Because confidence is like respect; you have to earn it. THE

But it's not that I think I'm so great. I just don't hate myself. I do idiotic things all the time and I say crazy stuff I regret, but I don't let everything traumatize me. And the scary thing I have noticed is that some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves. So that's why you need to be a little bit brave. People

It's traumatizing to think that a best friend could become just a friend. That's because there is virtually no difference between an acquaintance and a friend. But the gulf between a friend and a best friend is enormous and profound. And

Not getting Lasik at this point is like being that girl in 2006 who didn't have a cell phone.

Hugh was in prime Jackman when he played smoldering Van Helsing.

even though I wish I could be thin, and that I could have the ease of lifestyle that I associate with being thin, I don't wish for it with all of my heart. Because my heart is reserved for way more important things.

One thing you should know about me is that I am not a hugger. For the record, in New York, that is a perfectly acceptable way to be. If you hug someone there they are either a person in your immediate family whom you have not seen in months, or they are gravely ill.

One stipulation to my borrowing your clothes is that you have to have worn the item at least once before I borrow it. I'm not a monster.

Lots of stupid people were skinny, and yet I couldn't do this incredibly simple thing they could do with seeming ease.

You take your mentoring where you can find it, even if it's not being offered to you.

write your own part. It is the only way I've gotten anywhere.