Quotes from Terry Pratchett

Gossiping's part of witchcraft,' said Tiffany. 'They're checking to see if they've gone batty yet.

It was a sound as soft as the first drop of rain on a century of dust.

To Tiffany's surprise, Nanny Ogg was weeping gently. Nanny took another swig from her flagon and wiped her eyes. 'Cryin' helps sometimes,' she said. 'No shame in tears for them as you've loved. Sometimes I remember one of my husbands and shed a tear or two. The memories're there to be treasured, and it's no good to get morbid-like about it.

The Captain of the Watch says if you're still in the City by sunrise he will personally have you buried alive.

Suddenly there was a humming in the air, and the bees were there too. They flowed out of Granny Weatherwax's hive, circling Tiffany like a halo, crowning her, and swarm and girl stood on the threshold of the cottage and Tiffany reached out her arms and the bees settled along them, and welcomed her home.

or there will be a reckoning!

The monk solved his immediate problem by giving a little whimper and fainting.

Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate

What good's a god who gives you everything you want?

Koan ninety-seven: Do unto otters as you would have them do unto you. Hmm. No real help there. Besides, he'd occasionally been unsure that he'd written that one down properly, although it certain had worked. He'd always left aquatic mammals well alone, and they had done the same to him.

Writing stays. It fastens words down. A man can speak his mind and some nasty wee scuggan will write it down and who knows what he'll do with those words? Ye might as weel nail a man's shadow tae the wall!

Stop stealing the funeral meats right now, you wee scuggers! She shouted. The Feegles stopped and stared at her. Then Rob Anybody said: Socks wi'oot feets?

There's always something to eat, if you're hungry enough.

For the first time in her life Granny wondered whether there might be something important in all these books people were setting such store by these days, although she was opposed to books on strict moral grounds, since she had heard that many of them were written by dead people and therefore it stood to reason reading them would be as bad as necromancy.

The price for being the best is always... having to be the best.

The sun set, which is everyday magic...

She was, in fact, quite a pleasant looking girl, even if her bosom had clearly been intended for a girl two feet taller; but she was not Her. The Egregious Professor of Grammar and Usage would have corrected this to she was not she, which would have caused the Professor of Logic to spit out his drink.

The horsemen came closer. Vimes was not good at horsemen. Something in him resented being addressed by anyone eight feet above the ground. He didn't like the sensation of being looked at by nostrils.

He gave Gaspode a long, slow stare, which was like challenging a centipede to an arse-kicking contest.

this is the room where the future pours into the past via the pinch of now.

To be frank, I find religion rather offensive.

Mrs. Earwig (pronounced Ar-wige, at least by Mrs. Earwig) believed in shiny wands, and magical amulets and mystic runes and the power of the stars, while Granny Weatherwax in cups of tea, dry biscuits, washing every morning in cold water and, well...mostly she believed in Granny Weatherwax.

they believed that for a thing to exist it had to have a position in time and space. Humanity had arrived as a nasty shock. Humanity practically was things that didn't have a position in time and space, such as imagination, pity, hope, history, and belief. Take those away and all you had was an ape that fell out of trees a lot.

The year is round! The wheel of the world must spin! That is why up here they dance the Dark Morris, to balance it. They welcome the winter because of the new summer deep inside it!