Quotes from Terry Pratchett

Watering down the currency of expression, causing anything to mean whatever you want it to mean, until nothing is meant and nothing is precise.

Perhaps that's why men did it. You didn't do it to save duchesses, or countries. You killed the enemy to stop him killing your mates, that they in turn might save you ...

We all have our funny little ways. Except me, obviously.

Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge; shoot one, and there'll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? Why not shoot everyone and invade Poland? In fifty years', thirty years', ten years' time the world will be very nearly back on its old course. History always has a great weight of inertia.

Goodbye," Mort said, and was surprised to find a lump in his throat. "It's such an unpleasant word, isn't it?" QUITE SO. Death grinned because, as has so often been remarked, he didn't have much option. But possibly he meant it, this time. I PREFER AU REVOIR, he said.

The Nac Mac Feegle (also called Pictsies, The Wee Free Men, The Little Men, and "Person or Persons Unknown, Believed to be Armed")

There were two ways of looking at the world, but only one when you are starving.

We were born vampires. I thought you became – — vampires by being bitten? Dear me, no. Oh, we can turn people into vampires, it's an easy technique, but what would be the point? When you eat… now what is it you eat? Oh yes, chocolate… you don't want to turn it into another Agnes Nitt, do you? Less chocolate to go around. He sighed. Oh dear, superstition, superstition everywhere we turn.

You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn. The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you. You're right. I'm older. You've lived longer than me but I'm older than you. And better'n you. And, madam, that ain't hard.

What's this here," he said suspiciously, "about us got to give you faggots?" Oh, we have to have them," said Newt, "We burn them." Say what?" We burn them." The guard's face broadened into a grin. And they'd told him England was soft. "Right on!" he said

He'd forgotten the ancient wisdom: take care, when you are closely observing, that you are not closely observed.

There was something pleasant about an empty classroom. Of course, as any teacher would point out, one nice thing was that there were no children in it.

Teatime put a comforting arm around his shoulders. Don't worry, he said. I'm on your side. A violent death is the last thing that'll happen to you.

Gentlemen, please," said the Patrician. He shook his head. "Let's have no fighting, please. This is, after all, a council of war.

Can't we do anything about it? - No! - Then I can't see the sense in panicking, said Twoflower calmly

All this good fortune, all this fierce joy ... it was wrong. Surely the universe could not allow this amount of happiness in one man, not without presenting a bill. Somewhere a big dark wave was cresting, and when it broke over his head it would wash everything away. Some days, he was sure he could hear its distant roar ...

Fresh wounds, said Angua. But one of them did shoot one of the other in the leg by accident. I think you'd better put in your report as -self inflicted- wounds while resisting arrest, said Vimes.

The night is always old. He'd walked too often down dark streets in the secret hours and felt the night stretching away, and known in his blood that while days and kings and empires come and g, the night is always the same age, always aeons deep. Terrors unfolded in the velvet shadows and while the nature of the talons may change, the nature of the beast does not.

Needless to say, they refused to submit to the Empire, conducting such a persistent guerrilla war that the Romans gave up hope of conquering Scotland, and the Wee Free Men remained both wee and free.

Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?

Look out! He's got a daisy!

Everyone should occasionally break the law in some small and delightful way, Drumknott. It's good for the hygiene of the brain.

Ahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! Aahahaha! BEWARE!!!!! Yrs Sincerely, The Opera Ghost

Possession of the box conferred a kind of power on the wielder--which was that anyone, confronted with the hypnotic glass eye, would submissively obey the most peremptory orders about stance and expression.