Quotes from Terry Pratchett

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.

Thus proving that dreams that come true are not always the right dreams. Does wearing a glass slipper lead to a comfortable life? If everything you touch turns into marshmallows, won't that make things a bit . . . sticky?

There's nothing more terrible than someone out to do the world a favor.

And when in doubt, take all your clothes off,' said Caleb. 'What for?' 'Sign of a good berserk, taking all your clothes off. Frightens the hell out of the enemy. If anyone starts laughing, stab 'em one.

Only Granny Weatherwax really knew Granny Weatherwax.

The night is always old. He'd walked too often down dark streets in the secret hours and felt the night stretching away, and known in his blood that while days and kings and empires come and go, the night is always the same age, always aeons deep. Terrors unfolded in the velvet shadows and while the nature of the talons may change, the nature of the beast does not.

The footprints go this way, said Cuddy, and then they return. But the ones coming back aren't so deep as the ones going. You can see they're later ones because they're over the top of the other ones. So he was heavier than he was coming back, yes? Right, said Detritus. So that means...? He lose weight?

We've always been privileged, you see. Privilege just means 'private law.' That's exactly what it means.

Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger, how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man who breaks the law out of greed?

Can you swim? said Victor. One of the cavern's rotting pillars crashed down behind them. From the pit itself came a terrible wailing. Not very well, said Ginger. Me neither, he said. The commotion behind them was getting worse. Still, he said, taking her hand. We could look on this as a great opportunity to improve really quickly.

There were people who'd steal money from people. Fair enough. That was just theft. But there were people who, with one easy word, would steal the humanity from people. That was something else.

You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree. One of the giants grinned at him. Druellae snorted. Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?

To be frank, I thought you were going to marry the princess.' Mort blushed. 'We talked about it,' he said. 'Then we thought, just because you happen to rescue a princess, you shouldn't rush into things.' 'Very wise. Too many young women leap into the arms of the first young man to wake them after a hundred years' sleep, for example.

As castles went, this one looked as though it could be taken by a small squad of not very efficient soldiers. For defence, putting a blanket over your head might be marginally safer.

She collected silence like other people collected strings. But she had a way of saying nothing that said it all.

You could say to the universe, this is not fair. And the universe would say: Oh, isn´t it? Sorry. You could save people. You could get there in the nick of time. And something could snap its fingers and say, no, it has to be this way. Let me tell you how it has to be.

The games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become.

The worst part, the worst part, was that Lord de Worde was never wrong. It was not a position he understood in relation to his personal geography. People who took an opposing view were insane, or dangerous, or possibly even not really people. You couldn't have an argument with Lord de Worde. Not a proper argument. An argument, from arguer , meant to debate and discuss and persuade by reason. What you could have with William's father was a flaming row.

The R is the wrong way roond and you left the A and a Y out of Anybody,' said Jeannie, because it is a wife's job to stop her husband actually exploding with pride. 'Ach, wumman, I didna' ken which way the fat man wuz walkin',' said Rob, airly waving a hand. 'Ye canna trust the fat man. That's the kind of thing us nat'ral writin' folk knows about. One day he might walk this way, next day he might walk that way.

Roland de Chumsfanleigh (it wasn't his fault).

The thought had crossed his mind, only very fast and looking nervously from side to side in case it got knocked over.

The politics of wizardry were either very simple, and resolved by someone ceasing to breathe, or as complex as one ball of yarn in a room with three bright-eyed little kittens.

One of the things that makes folks even more jolly is knowing there're people who ain't.

To be a leader you have to learn to shout! But after you've learned to shout, you have to learn not to!