Quotes from Terry Pratchett

never ask the tight-rope walker how he keeps his balance. if he stops to think about it, he falls off

In a certain light and from a carefully chosen angle, Magrat was not unattractive.

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.

That was great, al' that reading' ye did!' said Rob Anybody. 'I didnae understand a single word o' it!' 'Aye, it must be powerful language if you cannae make oout what the heel it's goin' on aboot!' said another pictsie.

On nights such as this, evil deeds are done. And good deeds, of course. But mostly evil, on the whole.   On nights such as this, witches are abroad. Well, not actually abroad. They don't like the food and you can't trust the water and the shamans always hog the deckchairs.

In fact no gods anywhere play chess. They haven't got the imagination. Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.

Money is all you can think about when all you have is a price, Carrot said

You see, it's not enough to know what the future is. You have to know what it means.

We look to… the edges,' said Mistress Weatherwax. 'There's a lot of edges, more than people know. Between life and death, this world and the next, night and day, right and wrong… an' they need watchin'. We watch 'em, we guard the sum of things. And we never ask for any reward. That's important.

Seven thousand years is just one day at a time

fleeing into aphorisms, the last refuge of an adult under siege.

The gods, he said. Imprisoned in a thought. And perhaps they were never more than a dream.

The Tezuman Empire in the jungle valleys of central Klatch is known for it organic market gardens, its exquisite craftsmanship in obsidian, feathers and jade, and its mass human sacrifices in honor of Quezovercoatl, the Feathered Boa, god of mass human sacrifices.

Contrary to popular belief, the wings of demons are the same as the wings of angels, although they're often better groomed.

Freedom may be mankind's natural state, but so is sitting in a tree eating your dinner while it is still wriggling.

Everyone found their eyes turning toward Adam. He seemed to be thinking very carefully. Then he said: "I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out.

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.

You couldn't say: It's not my fault. You couldn't say: It's not my responsibility. You could say: I will deal with this. You didn't have to want to. But you had to do it.

She was never likely to say out loud, "I wish that I could marry a handsome prince," but knowing that if you did you'd probably open the door to find a stunned prince, a tied-up priest, and a Nac Mac Feegle grinning cheerfully and ready to act as best man definitely made you watch what you said.

There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.

An hour ago Cutwell had thumbed through the index of The Monster Fun Grimoire and had cautiously assembled a number of common household ingredients and put a match to them. Funny thing about eyebrows, he mused. You never really noticed them until they'd gone.

A foot on the neck is nine points of the law.

Nothing wrong with whips and needles, in moderation.

But if it is true that the act of observing changes the thing which is observed (because of Quantum), it's even more true that it changes the observer.