Quotes from Terry Pratchett

We always ken where we are! It's just sometimes mebbe we aren't sure where everything else is, but it's no' our fault if everything else gets lost! The Nac Mac Feegle are never lost!

Aziraphale was an angel, but he also worshiped books.

Brutha tried to put it out of his mind, which was like trying to empty a bucket underwater.

Reality so often fails when it comes to small, satisfying details, she thought.

Ignorance is a wonderful thing—it's the state you have to be in before you can really learn anything.

I often thought that everyone has their, you know, natural age.

One reason for the bustle was that over large parts of the continent other people preferred to make money without working at all, and since the Disc had yet to develop a music recording industry they were forced to fall back on older, more traditional forms of banditry.

Something wonderful, if you look the long view, was about to happen. If you took the short or medium view, something horrible was about to happen.

Nobby had survived any number of famous massacres by not being there.

The Post Office was the underdog, and an underdog can always find somewhere soft to bite.

Death stripes away many things, especially when it arrives at a temperature hot enough to vaporize iron ... The immortal remains of Brother Watchtower watched the dragon flap away into the fog ....

Best to get it off his chest. Own up like a man. Take his medicine. Cards on table. Beating about bush, none of. Mercy, throw himself on.

You made a choice, you get what you choose.

In fact the Gods were as puzzled by all this as the wizards were, but they were powerless to do anything and in any case were engaged in an eons-old battle with the Ice Giants, who had refused to return the lawnmower.

Om helps those who help one another.

He found that he had this sudden desperate longing for the fuming, smoky streets of Ankh-Morpork, which was always at its best in the spring, when the gummy sheen on the turbid waters of the Ankh River had a special iridescence and the eaves were full of birdsong, or at least birds coughing rhythmically

You're an interesting man, sergeant. You make enemies like a craftsman.

The mere fact you're delivering any will help, I'm sure, said Professor Pelc, smiling like a doctor telling a man not to worry, the disease is only fatal in 87 per cent of cases.

In the same way that the really rich can never be mad (they're eccentric), so they can also never be rude (they're outspoken and forthright).

He famously defended fairy stories against those who said they told children that there were monsters; children already know that there are monsters, he said, and fairy stories teach them that monsters can be killed. We now know that the monsters may not simply have scales and sleep under a mountain. They may be in our own heads.

The members of the Guild of Assassins considered themselves cultured men who enjoyed good music and food and literature. And they knew the value of human life. To a penny, in many cases.

Though here's a tip, though. Just 'ho, ho, ho' will do. Don't say, 'Cower, brief mortals' unless you want them to grow up to be moneylenders or some such.

This was music that had not only escaped, but had robbed a bank on the way out. It was music with its sleeves rolled up and its top button undone, raising its hat and grinning and stealing the silver.

Look, this is just the cemetery. It's got bylaws and things! It's not Transylvania! There's just dead people here! That doesn't make it scary, does it? Dead people are people who were living once! You wouldn't be so worked up if there were living people buried here, would you?