Quotes from Terry Pratchett

He asked you to shoot at people who weren't shooting back," growled Vimes, striding forward, "That makes him insane, wouldn't you say?" "They are throwing stones, Sarge," said Colon. "So? Stay out of range. They'll get tired before we do.

When you have dived off a cliff, your only hope is to press for the abolition of gravity.

What sound does forgetfulness make?' She hardly had to think. 'It's the sound of the wind in dead grasses on a hot summer's day.

They weren't looking at him as if he was their only hope. They were looking at him as if he was their Certainty.

It was the sort of smile that lies on sandbanks waiting for incautious swimmers.

Vimes was hazy on religion. He attended Watch funerals and went to such religious events as the proper fulfilling of the office of Commander entailed, but as for the rest . . . well, you saw things sometimes that made it impossible to believe not only in gods, but also in common humanity and your own eyes.

Everybody has somebody. It could be a friend, a lover, a spouse, a writing partner, or even That One Person You See At The Coffee Shop each day. Sometimes they exist to comfort you. Sometimes they exist to drive you absolutely mad. Be open to either as a form of self-improvement.

Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and minds will follow.

The universe required everything to be observed, lest it cease to exist.

Charity ain't giving people what you wants to give, it's giving people what they need to get.

and all those frogs going 'Rabbit, rabbit'... I think, sir, that it was 'Ribbit, ribbit'... So, what goes 'Rabbit, rabbit'? Rabbits, I think. All the time...

The dark moppets of dread played their paranoid hopscotch across Moist's inner eyeballs.

Fairyland, where dreams can hurt. Somewhere all stories are real, all songs are true. I thought that was a strange thing for the kelda to say. . . .

HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. Or, from the very next page, YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?

The Arrangement was very simple, so simple in fact that it didn't really deserve the capital letter, which it had got for simply being in existence for so long.

Granny hesitated. Agnes who calls herself Perditax? Perdita X, said Nanny. She at least respected anyone's right to recreate themselves.

HAVE YOU EVER BITTEN REDHOT ICE CUBE? THAT'S CURRY.

You couldn't put off the inevitable. Because sooner or later, you reached the place when the inevitable just went and waited.

And it be well for a knowlessman that he should not be here, for he would be taken from this place and his gaskin slit, his moules shown to the four winds, his welchet torn asunder with many hooks and his figgin placed upon a spike (...)

In a distant forest a wolf howled, felt embarrassed when no one joined in, and stopped.

You don't understand!" screamed the tourist, above the terrible noise of the wingbeats. "All my life I've wanted to see dragons!" "From the inside?" shouted Rincewind. "Shut up and ride!

It was no use getting angry with Wullie; he lived in a Wullie-shaped world of his own. You had to think diagonally.

Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment? Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: A fish! And Clodpool went away, satisfied.

A shepherd's crown, not a royal one. A crown for someone who knew where she had come from. A crown for the lone light zigzagging through the night sky, hunting for a single lost lamb. A crown for the shepherd who was there to herd away the predators.