Quotes from Terry Pratchett

She turned. A young man of godlike proportions* was standing in the doorway. *The better class of gods, anyway. Not the ones with the tentacles, obviously.

I have seen galaxies die. I have watched atoms dance. But until I had the dark behind the eyes, I didn't know the death from the dance.

The figure stopped to cough long and hard, making a noise like a wall being hit repeatedly with a bag of rocks. Moist saw that it had a beard of the short bristled type that suggested that its owner had been interrupted halfway through eating a hedgehog.

Sometimes the moon is light and sometimes it's in shadow, but you should always remember it's the same moon.

Sometimes people fools themselves into believing things that aren't true. Sometimes that can be quite dangerous for the person. They see the world in a wrong way. They won't let themselves see that what they believe is wrong. But often there is a part of the mind that does know, and the right words can let it out.

And don't forget the presents, said the Chair of Indefinite Studies, as if reading off some internal list of gloom. How...how full of potential they seem in all that paper, how pregnant with possibilities...and then you open them and basically the wrapping paper was more interesting and you have to say 'How thoughtful, that will come in handy.' It's not better to give than to receive, in my opinion, it's just less embarrassing.

Laughter can get through the keyhole while seriousness is still hammering on the door.

Sergeant Colon was lost in admiration. He'd seen people bluff on a bad hand, but he'd never seen anyone bluff with no cards.

Bein' a soldier is not hard. If it was, soldiers would not be able to do it.

But...well, Reg, tomorrow the sun will come up again, and I'm pretty sure that whatever happens we won't have found Freedom, and there won't be a whole lot of Justice, and I'm damn sure we won't have found Truth. But it's just possible that I might get a hard-boiled egg.

You think so? Then take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder, and sieve it through the finest sieve, and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet, you try to act as if there is some ideal order in the world. As if there is some, some rightness in the universe, by which it may be judged.

And this is because people are riddled by Doubt. It is the engine that drives them through their lives. It is the elastic band in the little model aeroplane of their soul, and they spend their time winding it up until it knots. Early morning is the worst time - there's that little moment of panic in case You have drifted away in the night and something else has moved in.

The man gave Dodger a cursory glance that had quite a lot of curse in it.

Royalty pollutes people's minds, boy. honest men start bowing and bobbing just because someone's granddad was a bigger murdering bastard than theirs was.

And then...they thought I was evil, she said, over another shoulder. Are you? said Tiffany Both of Miss Level turned around shocked. What kind of question is that to ask anyone? she said. Um...the obvious one? said Tiffany. I mean, if they said, 'Yes, I am! Mwahahaha!' that would save a lot of trouble, wouldn't it

But all them things exist, said Nanny Ogg. That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em.

YOU ARE NOT AFRAID? 'Not yet. But, er...which way to the egress, please?' There was a pause. Then Death said, in a puzzled voice: ISN'T THAT A FEMALE EAGLE?

Yes, said the skull. Quit while you're a head, that's what I say.

Wow-Wow Sauce, a mixture of mature scumble, pickled cucumbers, capers, mustard, mangoes, figs, grated wahooni, anchovy essence, asafetida and, significantly, sulfur and saltpetre for added potency. Ridcully inherited the formula from his uncle who, after half a pint of sauce on a big meal one evening, had a charcoal biscuit to settle his stomach, lit his pipe and disappeared in mysterious circumstances, although his shoes were found on the roof the following summer.

It is impossible to accommodate everyone and twice as impossible to please all the dwarfs.

Er, why do you need to work in a dark room, though? he said. The imps don't need it, do they? Ah, zis is for my experiment, said Otto proudly. You know zat another term for an iconographer would be 'photographer'? From the old word photos in Latation, vhich means - 'To prance around like a pillock ordering everyone about as if you owned the place', said William. Ah, you know it!

They carried sticks and wore white clothes with bells on them, to stop them creeping up on people. No one likes an unexpected Morris dancer.

Oh, I daresay they're all very well as decoration, somethin' nice to look at while you're workin', somethin' for show, but the start and finish, the start and finish, is helpin' people when life is on the edge. Even people you don't like. Stars is easy, people is hard.

Foul Ole Ron was a physical schizophrenic. There was Foul Ole Ron, and there was the smell of Foul Ole Ron, which had obviously developed over the years to such an extent that it had a distinct personality