Quotes from Billy Crystal

When you're the host of the Academy Awards, and you grew up watching Bob Hope and Johnny Carson, and now it's your turn, and you get a chance to run with the baton on the relay for a while, I really embraced it and just really loved being there.

Performing was how I was able to release this pain I had.

Mr. Hitchcock knew what he was doing.

I watch old 'Truth or Consequences' on Hulu. 'Concentration.' And 'The Match Game' with Gene Rayburn.

I've worn down America.

I'm a baby. I sleep like a baby - I'm up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.

I never worry that I'll die in my sleep, because I'm never asleep!

It took five years to get 'Parental Guidance' made, and it was a fight every second.

What's so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you're constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.

My mind is always going. I'm always thinking what I need to do, what I haven't done, what I did do, what I didn't do as well as I could - I'm relentless that way with myself.

At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.

I really could've been a good student, but I was always hearing an imaginary audience.

There used to be that you only had four or five critics that you would look to for intelligent conversation, but now there are millions of people who can just press 'send,' and everyone's got an opinion even if no one cares what they say. It makes things a little bit tougher.

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book.

My parents always looked like they loved being together. That's what I took from them, and that's how my wife and I are. I still feel like we're dating.

In LA we get coyotes in our garbage cans. Coyotes are just like my relatives. They go out in pairs, they whine at night, and they go anywhere there's food.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Change is such hard work.

That's the thing about jazz: it's free flowing, it comes from your soul.

Consider the rose...The rose is the sweetest smelling flower of all, and it's the most beautiful because it's the most simple, right? But sometimes, you got to clip the rose. You got to cut the rose back, so something sweeter smelling and stronger, and even more beautiful, will grow in its place

Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.

Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place

Westboro Baptist Church: STOP. Stop protesting the funerals of our soldiers who died in action because you are anti-gay. When one of you dies, I'm going to show up with a couple of gay veterans and we're going to do a musical at your funeral.

Do something special on your birthday. Whatever you do, celebrate the fact that you're here, and that people love you and you love them. We only do this once.