Quotes from Josh Billings

Man was created a little lower than the angels, and has been getting lower ever since.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant, but we can't dodge a fly

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen.

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it gets there

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough"

Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.

It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant, but we can't dodge a fly.

Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.

Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into.

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affection is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

Confess your sins to the Lord, and you will be forgiven; confess them to men, and you will be laughed at.

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.