Quotes from Steve Martin

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.

I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.

I just believe that the interesting time in a career is pre-success, what shaped things, how did you get to this point.

My problem is that I don't get the same exhiliration from success as I get depression from failure.

All of life's riddles are answered in the movies.

If you're studying Geology, which is all facts, as soon as you get out of school you forget it all, but Philosophy you remember just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life.

I'm always looking for something to engage my imagination and take me on a little mental voyage. I just want a new topic in my life.

I never touched a gun in my life. That and that alone forever doomed me to middle management.

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

I've run into people in my life who were so dramatic; people who are so extreme and so frustrating to be around that you end up thinking about them and talking about them for literally years after your experience with them is over. I've had that happen to me, and I've seen it happen to other people. I find it fascinating.

Well, today the Grammys is much much better than the Oscars. I think the differences in the shows are that the Grammys are much wilder. The Oscars is much more people in the industry. And people dress wilder, I think, at the Grammys.

I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness.

What I mean is that none of my talents had a - what's that great word - rubric. A singer, an actor, a dancer - there was nothing I could really say I was. The writing came much later. And, actually, thank God, because if I had said I'm a singer, I would really have just had one thing to do.

I opened the show with this line: "I have decided to give the greatest performance of my life! Oh, wait, sorry, that's tomorrow night.

I was very vulnerable to criticism for many years. I could read a bad review and remember it my whole life.

I was raised with 'Laurel and Hardy' and 'I Love Lucy' and Jerry Lewis, and I just loved it. And I had a friend in high school and we would just laugh all day and put on skits. You know, it's the Andy Kaufman thing or the Marty Short thing where you're performing in your bedroom for yourself.

When I finally retire, I just want to go away so no one has to listen to me.

I wish I could do a lot of things different. I'm not going to tell you what they are, but if I had a list of all my films right now, I'd go, 'Okay, I'll cross that one out and cross that one out and cross that one out and cross that one out.' Really. But I've made over 40 films. How can I not have some losers in there?

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

There's a lot of thought in art. People get to talk about important things. There's a lot of sex, you know, in art. There's a lot of naked women and men, and there's intrigue, there's fakery. It's a real microcosm of the larger world.

What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be Democrats... or skinny.

College totally changed my life. It changed what I believe and what I think about everything. I majored in philosophy.

I never had a movie that I wanted to do turned down in my whole life. I always write the script first so it speaks for itself.

I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.