Quotes from Eddie Izzard

And then earlier than that there were the crusades. The crusades were totally fucked. Richard the Lionheart, who had the heart of a lion as well as his own. He ripped it out of the lion, and the lion was left with a bicycle pump and not much to do.

Mr. Charles Darwin, who looked a bit like God which is interesting, wrote a book called You're a Fucking Monkey, Mate. He played around with the title for a while: We're All Fucking Monkeys; You're a Fucking Monkey, Mate; Get Out of My Face, You Fucking Monkey. And he ended up with On The Origin of Species.

I realized that belief is a key ingredient in trying to do things that are difficult.

Stamina is the big thing you have to learn if you want to achieve success in any kind of career, but especially creative careers.

If there is a god they need to come down to Earth and explain WWII, Hitler, bowel cancer, and Croc shoes.

I've just come to the conclusion that all women should wear whatever they want to wear and that all men should wear whatever they want to wear. If they have a problem with that, they should take it up with United Nations.

I did it on a wing and a prayer, and even though I didn't have enough confidence to do the show, I had a theory; if I assume I have the confidence, I'll tell everyone I'm doing it, and then people will come and we'll actually do it. Once we've done it, I'll have the confidence to do it again. It was some sort of weird positive-thinking confidence mantra because I had to get there.

The word itself—dyslexia—is ironically very hard for dyslexic people to spell correctly

We need to become more open minded to the idea that many of us exist on a spectrum - a continuum - of gender. That for some of us the choice isn't just one or the other - completely male or completely female - but often a combination of both. In fact, it seems there are three different lines on the sexuality spectrum: how you self identify, who you're attracted to, and what you look like. And it seems the dial can be at any place on any of those three lines.

And there is a rule in every major religion, called the Golden Rule. Essentially: treat other people the way you'd like to be treated yourself. If we all did this, the whole world would work instantaneously. Praying, meditation—fine. But just follow the Golden Rule and the whole world works. Making the world work could be that simple.

Very advanced fashion almost joins up with having no fashion sense at all.

I'll just borrow confidence from a future version of myself.

No one ever says, "This piece of creative work is crap, but they made it in a couple of weeks, so let's go and check it out.

what you do to add to the human existence—that is what matters

Most people are widely read. I'm thinly read. I've read *** all, and I'm very proud of it.

Real life is actually a lot of boring things with occasional spikes of interest. Eddie Izzard

Cuando llegamos a la Luna, ese fue el momento en que Dios debió haber venido y decir hola. Porque si inventas algunas criaturas, los pones en azul y llegan al gris, es el jodido momento de aparecer y decir bien hecho.

But stinging nettles: They just love existing, don't they? They're bastards. Stinging nettles are the Nazis of the weed world.

It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized you could buy a packet of cereal with a free gift and then just stick your hand in and root around in the packet until you found the free thing. It seems a much simpler way. But that took me about fifteen years to work out.

Pagans they were into sex, death, and religion in an interesting night-time telly type of way.

The twenty-first century is a key century for us on this planet. Either we make a world, where all seven billion people have a fair chance in this century - or forget it. If we can't do this, I don't think we are going to make it as a species. Despair is the fuel of terrorism, and hope is the fuel of civilization, so we have to put more hope into the world than despair. Hatred and separation and building walls is not the way to progress. Going backward is not the way to go forward.

I think this should be called non-victim behavior. A surprise offer of bright cheeriness and self-confidence on people who were probably about to say negative things to you, in order to make you a non-victim and just a member of society.

Could adults actually deal with a weird monster under their bed? I think if the monster started moving around, then- well we'd get out of bed and we'd get a frying pan, and then we'd beat the crap out of the monster under the bed. Or we'd get a broom and poke the monster out. No, we'd lock the door and set fire to the house.

Jesus sandals