Quotes from Kinky Friedman

The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.

The child-teacher relationship is crucial.

The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.

I'm not pro-life, and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-football.

Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot.

My definition of an artist is anyone who's ahead of his time and behind on his rent.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

Always beware of people offering you one-time money. That only works in an election year. How are you going to permanently pay for education?

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.

The main health hazard in the world today is people who don't love themselves.

True love usually results in a hostage situation.

The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.

You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that.

I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing I know about true love, it is that sooner or later, it results in a hostage situation.

If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!

I'll sign anything except bad legislation.

The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

I see an issue I like, and I support it.

Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way.

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.

People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it.