Quotes from Wilson Mizner

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.

Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you

Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.

A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.

If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

God help those who do not help themselves.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something.

I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.

In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must also be prepared to work hard and be willing to accept destructive criticism. Without 100% dedication, you won't be able to do this.

The worst-tempered people I`ve ever met were the people who knew they were wrong.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.

If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your effort to believe it.

The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.