Quotes from Ilona Andrews

you expect me to fall on my back with my legs spread. Not necessarily. ... You can fall on your hands and knees if you prefer. Or against the wall. Or on the kitchen counter. I suppose I might let you be on top, if you make it worth my while.

Help me, I can't breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.

Are you sure you know where you're going? Andrea frowned. Would you like me to pull over and ask that bamboo for directions? I don't know, do you think it will answer? We peered at the bamboo. I think it looks suspicious, Andrea said. Maybe there is a heffalump hiding in it. Andrea stared at me. You know, heffalump? From Pooh Bear? Where do you even get this shit?

He bared his teeth in a happy feral grin. My own personal psycho.

I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.

You know anything about investigative work? Sure. Annoy the people involved until the guilt party tries to make you go away.

Are you out of your mind? It's not polite to lie to your best friend. It's a possibility.

Your ability to remain alive never ceases to amaze me.

If the sky could dream, it would dream of dragons.

I ripped my left arm out of his hand and slammed my elbow into his solar plexus. He exhaled in a gasp. I lunged for the dagger and sat on top of him, my knees pinning his arms, my dagger on his throat. He lay still. "I give up," he said and smiled. "Your move." Er. I was sitting atop the Beast Lord in my underwear, holding a knife to his throat. What the hell was my next move?

You're an interesting woman. Your interest has been duly noted.

Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork? Yep. Is he carrying the moon on his pitchfork? Nope it's a pie.

Yes, I'm too mad to punish you right now. We'll talk about it when we get home. Go brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on dry clothes, and get the guns. We're going to Wal-Mart.

What kind of a woman greets the Beast Lord with 'here, kitty, kitty'?

What happened to the alpha-wolf? LEGOs. Legos? It sounded Greek but I couldn't recall anything mythological with that name. Wasn't it an island? He was carrying a load of laundry into the basement and tripped on the old set of LEGOs his kids left on the stairs. Broke two ribs and an ankle.

What's that? That's my attack poodle.

I just had to stay cool. Zen. No punching in the face. Punching would not be Zen.

I've never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari—I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful.

How was I supposed to know that you let two little bears hurt you, Goldilocks? Ah, yes, that mouth. I missed it. All mine now.

I think I've been rather reasonable about this whole situation. How do you figure? They are still breathing, aren't they?

I think you're confused as to the nature of our relationship. You and I, we don't get along. You're a psychopathic control freak. You order me around and I want to kill you. I'm a pigheaded insubordinate ass. I drive you mad and you want to strangle me.

Aha! So I'm not crazy." "You are most definitely crazy," Derek said. "But in a deranged, endearing way.

What's with the beard and the horse mane? You look like Rent-a-Villain. The volhv's eyes widened. He raised his hand at me. Well you don't look... female... in your pants. That's a hell of an insult. Did you think of it all by yourself or did you ask your god for help?

I said, I know why you're afraid to fight with me." And why is that?" If he flexed again, I'd have to implement emergency measures. Maybe I could kick some sand at him or something. Hard to look hot brushing sand out of your eyes. You want me." Oh boy. You can't resist my subtle charm, so you're afraid you're going to make a spectacle out of yourself." You know what? Don't talk to me.