Quotes from Ilona Andrews

Did those nice church ladies come by again? He nodded. I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else.

The rabbis paled. I'd managed to terrify holy men. Maybe I could beat up a nun for an encore.

I know it's late, but could you find a book for me? It's called The Slavs: Study of Pagan Tradition by Osvintsev. Barabas sighed dramatically. Kate, you make me despair. Let's try that again from the top, except this time pretend you are an alpha. I don't need a lecture. I just need the book. Much better. Little more growl in the voice? Barabas! And we're there. Congratulations!

You will not pass!" Roman thundered. Great. Now he had decided he was Gandalf.

Saiman picked up a coffee mug, stared at it, and hurled it against the wall. It shattered into a dozen pieces. We looked at him. "Your date appears to be hysterical," Rene told me. "You think I should slap some man into him? Saiman stared at me, speechless. I had to give it to Rene—she didn't laugh. But she really wanted to.

Would you like to borrow a pair of my panties to wave around at the next Council meeting to get the point across?" His eyes flashed. "Got any to spare?" I could've picked somebody rational. But no, I had to fall in love with this arrogant idiot. Come to the Keep with me, be my princess. Mourn me when your crazy dad kills me. Yeah, right.

I'll be busy for the next eight weeks, so let's set this for November 15th. MENU I want lamb or venison steak. Baked potatoes with honey butter. Corn on the cob. Rolls. And apple pie, like the one you made before. I really liked it. I want it with ice cream. You owe me one naked dinner, but I'm not a complete beast, so you can wear a bra and panties if you so wish. The blue ones with the bow will do. Curran, Beast Lord of Atlanta

Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature.

I picked up the phone and dialed Andrea's extension. "Yes?" "He glued the chair to my ass." Silence.

You know what I like about you? You have no sense. You sit here in my house, you can barely hold a spoon, and you're telling me 'no'. You'd pull on Death's whiskers if you could reach them.

I'm secure enough in myself to wear panties with bows on them. Besides, they are comfy and soft. I bet. He almost purred. I gulped.

You said sloppy! Look, I didn't even use my sword; I hit him with my head, like a moron.

You seem to be under the impression that I work for you and you can give me orders. Let me fix that. I hung up.

It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, Who's diving for clams now, bitch?

You know, she said, stirring her tea, the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed. I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. He'd run like he was on fire.

He finished the bandage and was examining it critically. You know those things are unreliable. His voice held just a touch of reproach. "Eleven out of twelve work fine. I'd say that's better chances than getting an orgasm with a blind date and women still try.

I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.

You snore worse. At least I don't turn into a lion in my sleep. I only did it once. Once was weird enough, thank you.

You're taking a nap? Come on, Kate, I need you for this fight. Stop lying around." "You must think you're funny." "Just saying, you have to pull your own weight. A hot body and flirting will only get you so far." "Everything I do, I learned from you, boy toy." "Boy toy?" Curran asked. "Would you prefer man candy ?

Now climb, young grasshopper, so your Kung Fu won't be weak.

He lunged for the maps. I grabbed the chair and hit him with it. He went down. I hit him again to make sure he stayed that way, stepped over him, and picked up the maps. I win.

Fuck the pack. I gave them fifteen years of my life. I fought for them, bled for them, and the moment my back was turned, they attacked my wife. I owe them nothing.

Curran looked at me. "What the hell was I supposed to do, catch the werebison as he was falling?

Shapeshifter parenting motto—if your kid slits somebody's throat, always have a backup plan to make the body disappear.