Quotes from Ilona Andrews

I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy.

I have spent my spare time studying literature popular with young women of this planet. One should always study the battlefield. Sean glanced at him. And? I suggest you give up now. According to my research, in a vampire-werewolf love triangle, the vampire always gets the girl.

What would I do without the moral compass of a teenage werewolf?

You're Mad Rogan! Leon burst out. Yes, Mad Rogan said, his voice calm. And you can break cities? Yes. And you have all this money and magic? Yes. Where was Leon going with this? My cousin blinked. And you look . . . like that? Mad Rogan nodded. Yes. Leon's dark eyes went wide. He looked at Mad Rogan, then glanced back at himself. At fifteen, Leon weighed barely a hundred pounds. His arms and legs were like chopsticks. There is no justice in the world! Leon announced.

I chuckled to myself and kept walking. The Universe had proven Curran wrong: a person who aggravated him more than me did, in fact, exist.

Congratulations, love. You traded up. Does he treat you well?' 'He's a teddy bear,' I said. Teddy bear looked like he was suffering from murder withdrawal. (Rene and Kate on Jim!)

Give me an opportunity to fail, Saiman said. I promise my corpse won't interrupt your 'I told you so' speech.

He said 'woman' in the same way I'd say 'Mmmm, yummy chocolate.

You're not going to die? Not right this minute. And of course, saying something like that usually resulted in immediate dying. I braced myself for a stray meteorite falling through the roof to crush my skull.

Are you hungry, baby?" Curran asked. "Starving." "I think we should go to dinner." "Great idea." "What are you going to wear?" "My badass face." "Good choice," he said. »

He groaned and I saw his face. Curran! I would've preferred a homicidal lunatic. Oh, wait...

Put your badass faces on and follow me.

Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?" "I have spies everywhere." I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate. "She had tea with Mahon's wife." Andrea said. Aunt B looked at her. "You and I need to work on your air of mystery.

I tried to picture a female version of Jim and got Jim in a dress instead. The image was disturbing.

Everybody has something, that one thing they must do to feel happy. I think this is yours, and I want you to be happy. You don't have to do it, but it's here if you choose to come back to it.

I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded.

Quick, Derek, it's your chance to shine, Ascanio said. Derek gave him a withering look. Desandra is a mother, Robert is married, Kate's affianced, and I'm an old soul. You're the closest thing to a virgin we've got. Get on with growing some flowing locks.

Five minutes later, we were rolling around on the helipad as he tried to muscle his way out of my armlock, after slamming me onto the helipad. "I finally realized the source of your mutual attraction," Saiman said, his voice dry. I looked up. He was standing a few feet away. "Do enlighten us." Curran tried to roll into me to break the lock. Oh no you don't. "You both think violence is foreplay.

Desandra shrugged her shoulders. Hey, Kate? Have you thought of walking up to Hugh and telling him that he's got the biggest dick ever? She spread her arms to the size of a baseball bat. No, you think it would work? I asked. It's worth a try. May be he'll be so happy you noticed his pork sword, he'll forget all about trying to kill us. Pork sword. Kill me now. I'll think about it. Ascanio began patting his clothes. What? Derek growled. Looking for something to take notes with.

Give me a few minutes." "You have time." He sat in the grass. "Are you just going to sit there and watch me?" "Yes. Watching pretty peasant girls is what we poor little rich boys do best." "Peasant?" He shrugged. "You started the name calling.

I do shodo magic," Dali said. "I curse through calligraphy. I have to write the curse out on a piece of paper and I can't move while I do it. One smudge, and I might kill the lot of us." Oh good. "But don't worry." Dali waved her arms. "It's so precise, it usually doesn't work at all." Better and better.

I'm counting to ten in my head. Is it helping? No. It doesn't help me with you either. I used to life weights to alleviate frustration, but someone blowtorched my weight bench. How did you do it, by the way? I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

It took a qualified wizard to detect a summoning in progress. It required only a half-literate idiot with a twitch of power and a dim idea of how to use it to attempt one. Before you knew it, a three-headed Slavonic god was wreaking havoc in downtown Atlanta, the skies were raining winged snakes, and SWAT was screaming for more ammo.

Where is the bane of my existence? In the shower, freshening up. Damn it all to hell. Oh God, who did Ascanio screw now? No, no, he's covered in blood. Oh good. Wait a minute. The kid is covered in blood and we're relieved. There is something wrong with us.