Quotes from Derek Landy

Personally, I think knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? ' Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!

Serpine: You have caused me so much trouble over the years detective. It's almost a shame to end it Skulduggery: You're surrendering?

Serpine: No, my old enemy, I think for the moment anyway, we're all alone. And you have something I want Skulduggery: A winning sense of style?

Every solution to every problem is simple. It's the distance between the two where the mystery lies.

Valkyrie: Do we have a plan? Skulduggery: WE need to get the Grotesquery away from the bad guys, so we'll have to split up I'm going to leave, you're going to go hide under the van, wait until they load the Grotesquery in there, and then you're going to drive off under their noses Valkyrie: What? Skulduggery: It'll be really funny trust me

Skulduggery: You won't want to move any sudden moves until we reach the road - I'll know if you crazy kids disturbs the air around the nice bag of explosives Valkyrie: Blow it up Skulduggery: Can't do that Valkyrie: Why not? Skulduggery: Not a bomb. It's a bag with collapsible jacks; for changin tyres Valkryie: What about the remote? Skulduggery: It opens my garage door. Don't tell them, but it doesn't even have any batteries in it

Sanguine: You mind if I take pictures? Brought my own camera and everythin' Valkyrie: Knock yourself out Sanguine: Thanks Valkyrie: No, really, run head first into a wall and knock yourself out

And I don't need to look clever. I am clever. The fact that I look clever is merely a bonus.

Me either," Fletcher said, "and I've read practically every book written about Teleporters. Not that there are many. There are, like, four.

The Engineer smiled (internally, for of course it had no mouth). It was feeling good. It was feeling optimistic. Moving at its current speed, it would arrive back in Ireland in plenty of time to shut everything down before a series of overloads and power loops inevitably led to a sequence of events which would, in turn, eventually lead to the probable destruction of the world. The Engineer wasn't worried. And then the truck hit it.

Tanith: How did Skulduggery sound? Valkyrie: Angry and worried; He's only OK when I'm attacked by people he knows. He'd never even heard of this Sangunie guy

Serpine underestimates you. Everyone underestimates you. You're stronger than they know. You're stronger than you know - Skulduggery

Serpine: Well, Skulduggery? Where is that tired old defiance - the taunting, the goading? Where are the endless heroic clinches? Aren't you going to look me in the eye and tell me to do my worst? Skulduggery: Actually, I was going to ask that you go easy on me. I'm feeling kind of tender today Serpine: This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is Skulduggery:OK Serpine: Really? Skulduggery: No, only joking. Do your worst.

If none of that was a thing," she interrupted. "If you could go back right and, like, stop me from ever getting involved, knowing what lay ahead of me, would you do it?" Skulduggery focused on the road ahead for a few seconds. "For my sake, I wouldn't change a thing," he said. "For your sake? I'd change everything.

Kenspeckle: Have you eaten? Valkyrie: One of your assistants brought me a burger for breakfast Kenspeckle: I meant, have you eaten sensibly? Valkyrie: I was very sensible while I was eating the burger. Didn't miss my mouth once

Please don't arrest me." "Listen to me, I'm not going to arrest you, ok? I'm not a cop." "Are you sure?" "Am I sure I'm not a cop? yes, I'm sure." "You could be undercover.

The fate of the world depends upon whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives ..." ~ Skulduggery Pleasant

How are we going to get out of here?" "Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan." " Do we have the right plan?" "Not yet." "Do we have any plan?" "Not yet.

I'm placing you under arrest for murder, attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.

We came here unarmed." Donegan said cheerfully, and Gracious looked at him. "You're unarmed?" he asked, surprised. "Yes," Donegan said. "Aren't you?" "Well I suppose so. Apart from my gun." Donegan glared at him. "What? Why did you bring a gun? I told you to come unarmed." "I thought you were joking." "Why would I be joking?" "I don't know, I thought that's what made it funny.

Milo turned to Glen. "What about you? Can I trust you not to do anything stupid?" "I am a creature of the night," Glen whispered. "That'll have to do," said Milo, and hurried out.

There is a place called reality. It is a place where people use doors instead of windows. Where, when you click a sound is made not a flame. Where, a shadow is a thing created by the sun, not a weapon. Where, your reflection stays in the mirror. And where skeletons don't walk and talk. But you can escape this place. You just have to have one thing. Imagination.

You got stuck in a wall?" she said. "For how long?" "A few minutes. Half an hour. An hour at the most. Maybe two. Or a day. Remember that day I called Valkyrie and told her to take the afternoon off? Yeah, I was stuck in a wall.

They're here!" he cried, slamming the door and scuttling to the window. Amber frowned. "The vampires?" Glen looked back at her, real fear on his face. "Your parents.