Quotes from Derek Landy

His hair is huge!... Look!... It's just sticking up at odd angles! Like a demented porcupine! - Desmond, about Fletcher's hair

You're not used to early mornings, are you?" He shook his head. "Early mornings were invented by the system to keep the people occupied. But not me. I'm on to them. They're not gonna catch me napping. Metaphorically, like. Obviously, they can catch me physically napping like, four or five times a day, but, metaphorically, I am so far beyond their reach.

I... I don't, I don't think I can do this." "Do what?" It didn't answer. "Do the tests?" "I can't work with you when you're like this!" it blurted. "To every one of my specimens, I am the last thing they see! Terrror is what I am used to-- terror is what I like! I prefer my subjects to scream and beg, not ask to see results!" "I'll scream my questions, if that helps." "It won't," it said sadly. "I'll know you're only trying to make me feel better.

We're authors, too," Donegan said, "and we've been trying to get into the picture-book market. We have this idea for a Where's Wally type thing, except in ours, you'd have to find the one living person hiding in among all the dismembered corpses while the chainsaw-wielding killer hunts him down. You know, for kids." "We're going to call is Save the Survivor," Gracious said.

He looked at Ghastly. "Thoughts?" "I want to kill Sanguine," was the first thing Ghastly said. "And I want to do it slowly, in front of a lot of people. Using a hammer." Skulduggery nodded. "Very healthy.

We've decided to get a pet," her dad announced... "Like, I don't know, a brother or a sister?

An old man stood by the window, his hands clasped behind his back. He had probably been waiting for them in this exact pose. He was, quite obviously, a dick.

To betray is to act against, I just haven't acted at all - China Sorrows

I am eternal. I am the night. I am the day. I am forever. And who are you?" "I'm Skulduggery Pleasant." "Oh, hell. (The Horror Writers' Halloween Ball)

trust you with my life," Skulduggery said. "Just not necessarily my car.

We could wear disguises," said Frightening. Aurora nodded quickly. "Like a false beard. I've always wanted to wear a false beard." Vex frowned. "But you're a woman." "Exactly. They'd never suspect it was me.

After Skulduggery kills Valkyrie* Skulduggery: This has been a good day so far, all things considered, I have the location of the Grotesquey and I got to kill Valkyrie, which admittedly is something I've been wanting to do since I met her, she can be incredibly annoying Scapegrace: Um Skulduggery: She hardly ever shut up, I pretended to be the friends with her, but honestly, I just felt sorry for the poor girl. Not the brightest you know. Valkyrie: You're such a goon.

You were supposed to be keeping an eye on the place," Donegan said. "I was," Gracious yawned. "You were asleep." "I was resting my eyes." "You were snoring." "I was exercising my lungs.

Strong-willed, intelligent, sharp-tongued, doesn't suffer fools gladly . . . remind you of anyone?" "Yes. Gordon." "Interesting," said the man. "Because those are the exact same words he used to describe you.

Scapegrace: Back then, I was full of ideas, I was going to renovate the whole front of the pub,, and extend out to the west, maybe get in a music system a little dancefloor. In the end, I decided not to. Too expensive, you know. And, like, nobody wanted to dance so. Skulduggery: Vaurien, if you're trying to kill us, there are quicker ways than telling us your life story Valkryie: Less painful too.

I have seen the faces of our enemies! I have looked into the eyes of our foes! Do you know what I have seen? [...] Faces and eyes, gentlemen. Faces and eyes.

We should have another code for when you're about to hit someone." "Very well. How about 'the sparrow flies south for winter'?" "Seriously?" "What's wrong with it? It's a classic.

So you've finally chosen a name." "Yes. And I'm leaving. Right now." "Maybe you stand some chance after all. Before you go, will you do me the honour of introducing yourself?" "Of course," Stephanie said right before she walked out of the apartment. "My name is Valkyrie Cain.

We're going to get killed, aren't we?" "It looks likely. Our only hope is a surprise attack." "They're looking right at us." "Dammit.

I used a new mixture. The ingredients are a bit harder to find, but for my favourite patients I like to make sure the healing process is as painless as possible." "I'm on that list?" Valkyrie asked, her smile growing wider. Kenspeckle snorted. "You are the list.

I don't find you suspicious at all.' He turned to Martha and whispered, 'I find him incredibly suspicious.

I am what prevents the Accelerator from being a bomb." "Except you didn't," said Gracious. "Because you weren't around." "I got bored." "You're a machine." "Machines can become bored, too." Gracious looked suddenly concerned. "My toaster is bored?" "Perhaps, " said the Engineer. "I do not know many toasters.

And I won't be needing a sword to kill you." He strode towards Skulduggery, who raised his hand. "Um, since you're not going to be using it, can I?

You Necromancers have your messiah," Finbar said, "now we Remnants have ours.