Quotes from Derek Landy

I am turning murder into an art form. When I – when I kill, I'm actually painting a big, big picture, using blood and, and . . . messiness, you know? – Scapegrace

Until next time," Hansard said, "when hopefully, you won't have my father's vomit in your hair.

Scapegrace swivelled his eyes to her and she yelped and dropped his head. He bounced, and landed on his ear. "I'll get you," he wheezed. "All of you. You're dead!" Valkyrie didn't know what to do. She glanced back. Even Melancholia's eyes widened in surprise.

Oh, we're all mad around here, Ed! - Clarabelle

Get away from my ex-girlfriend, you moany little whinge-bag. - Fletcher

Stephanie, what are you doing here? – Gordon (in the Echo Stone)

Are you a coward, Glen?" "Only when threatened.

This is preposterous. Why would I lie? I'm not a criminal. The criminals are the ones in the cells." - Mien "The prisoners are the ones in the cells," Skulduggery corrected. "Criminals can be anyywhere.

We all go through tough times." "My parents are trying to kill me." "We all have issues.

Valkyrie knelt, tried to pull his hand away from his shoulder. "Did he shoot you? Did he hit you?" "He damaged my jacket," Skulduggery said, but, when she managed to pull his hand away, his façade's skin was rippling and fragments of bone fell to the floor. "It's just my clavicle," he said. "I have a spare.

You got it, kemo sabe. I'll keep my crucifix close." "Vampires aren't scared of a crucifix, Finbar." "I don't plan to wave it at him, I plan to hit him with it. It's really heavy. I figure I can do some considerable damage to his head.

Punishment is not the answer. Punishment is easy. It's lazy. Redemption is hard. Redemption makes you work.

I think you're shorter than you were." - Clarabelle "Yes," said Scapegrace. "Because I'm in a jar. I'm just a head." Clarabelle shrugged. "We're all just heads, when you think about it. The only difference between us is that we have arms and legs and bodies and we don't live in jars like you do. It's a nice jar, though. Where did you get it?

There is a place called reality. It is a place where people use doors instead of windows. Where, when you click a sound is made not a flame. Where, a shadow is a thing created by the sun, not a weapon. Where, your reflection stats in the mirror. And where skeletons don't walk and talk. But you can escape this place. You just have to have one thing. Imagination.

But you said he was OK. He murdered someone and you said he was OK." Never scowled. "First of all, and I think this is important, that's not the order in which those things occurred. I said he was OK, and then he murdered someone. But, due to recent events, I've obviously changed my mind about him.

There's nothing more natural than dying from a knife to the neck. What would be unnatural is if he'd survived.

Look what the mortals are doing to themselves. Look at what they've done to the world. They're bleeding the planet dry. They're poisoning the air, the land and the sea, and they know exactly what they're doing,

Why did you have to jump out of the window?" "You know why," Skulduggery said, walking away. Axle looked up, tears streaming from his eyes. "Why did he do that? Why?" Stephanie glowered. "Because doors are for people with no imagination," she said.

Hey, Nemesis, if you're going to kill me, then kill me. Otherwise, I've got stuff to do.

Just because someone is ugly on the outside doesn't mean they're not even uglier on the inside. The reverse is also true for the beautiful.

This is all very regrettable, though it isn't really, and I wish to assure you that I, in no way, derive any personal satisfaction from any of this, even though I so obviously do. If you feel the need to vent any more of your frustation, please feel free to do so, as I intend to build a collage of this moment and I'd like some more amusing anecdotes to go along with it. - China

And look at me now. Seriously. Look at what all that action and adventure has done to me. I'm a frickin' basket case. - Valkyrie

Skulduggery tilted his head. "Do you have a car?" "Nope." "Then we'll take mine." "Probably wise. I think I've forgoten how to drive.

Lament turned to Skulduggery. "Do you want me to hold your hand?" "I'd rather you didn't." "Perfectly understandable," Lament said.