Quotes from Derek Landy

Don't act offended. You wear a bag on your head.

Her parents were sitting at the table, staring at the laptop. She grinned. "You get it working?

People my own age don't fight monsters, Tanith. If they did, I'd be hanging out with them a lot more.

What all this means is that he could be living across the street from me and I'd never know it. It means that I have not heard one single rumour about him in twenty years, and the fact that he is here and I didn't know about it causes me no small amount of alarm and drives me to unimaginable fury. I am, however, hiding it well. - China

Mum, Dad, Fergus... this is Skulduggery Pleasant

Me? Stay out of trouble? Shouldn't be a problem in the slightest? - Valkyrie

matter how sharp the corner they turned or how deep the pothole they plunged into, Ghastly and Tanith remained perfectly still. Fletcher, on the other hand, was being thrown about like an old shoe in a washing machine, and he did not appreciate it.

Zombies were an accident - much like champagne and penicillin, but much less welcome. Necromancers weren't working on a way to turn people into shambling pieces of unintelligent rot-" - Kenspeckle

He broke the first law of being a vampire when he killed his own kind. If he can't stick to that simple rule, how safe do you think you are?

I don't recall seeing your friend, either. What did you say he was? A zombie? A mummy?" "A skeleton." "A skeleton, yeah. Haven't seen one of those in ages.

Does this mean we're now sharing the Bentley?" Skulduggery stiffened. "Dear me, no. Not in the slightest." She clutched the key to her chest. "You mean I now own the Bentley? You're giving her to me?" "OK, I'm changing my mind about this whole thing," he said, and reached for the key. "No take backsies," said Valkyrie, and shut the door.

In that movie, Mr Miyagi has Daniel doing all these mundane tasks like painting the fence and waxing the car, then later Daniel does the same moves and finds out it's kung fu. You have me doing all of these fighting moves... If I find out later that what you're actually doing is teaching me how to paint fences and wax cars, I'm not paying you, you understand? - Scapegrace

Also, all these proclamations of your undying love for me are getting kind of… It's a bit much, to be honest. Just hold back a little." "But my love for you is eternal." "That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about.

I think you have my bag," Amber said... "So what are you gonna do? Turn me in?" ... "No, not really." "Then do you want to buy me dinner?" - Clarissa

There are three names for everyone. The name you're born with, the name you're given and the name you take.

They call it Second Lifetime Syndrome, and it happens when a sorcerer watches her family and friends age and die around her. - China

Thank you again, all of you." He walked away. "But mostly me," Fletcher called after him and Valkyrie punched his arm.

I planned all of this," Skulduggery whispered. "Oh, shut up.

Things happen, Valkyrie, but life carries on regardless of how we feel.

It's not so bad." Melancholia looked at her. "You're lying." "I'll get used to it. So will you." "I... I don't think I'll be able to." "I'll be there to help when you need it." "But I hate you." Valkyrie smiled. "No you don't." "No, I do. I want to kill you and stuff." "We actually became friends in those caves." "That's not what happened, " said Melancholia. "We're pals. We're buddies.

A phone beeped quietly and she woke. It was morning. Friday the 30th of April. One day before May 1st, and Greta Dapple's birthday, and the Summer of Light, when the world would tear itself apart. What a cheery, happy thought to wake up to.

Any moment now, China was about to perspire.

Once his scars were revealed, Tanith kissed him, once, on the lips. "I like steak," she said. "Can't go wrong with steak." "Steak it is," he murmured. He stepped away, and Valkyrie grinned at Tanith. "Oh, good God," China said, rolling her eyes. "I do hope the Remnants kill me first.

Say thank you, Detective Marr, for letting me stand up." And Valkyrie said, "Thank you, Detective Marr, for giving me back my ring." Marr's eyes flickered to the ground where the ring had fallen, but it wasn't there any more, and before she could do anything about it, Valkyrie sent a fist of shadows slamming into the detective's chest.