Quotes from Derek Landy

You're not afraid of spiders, are you?" "I tend to get slightly arachnophobic when they're three times the size of me.

You and me and Never," said Axelia. "I've never been on an adventure. I want to try it out, see what it's like." "Uh … Axelia, I don't know. It might be dangerous." She smiled. "Don't worry, Omen. I'll protect you.

I kill Cain," Crux said, pointing a finger back at himself. "Me. Not you, not the vampire, not the idiot." Scapegrace frowned. "Who's the idiot?

Say thank you," Marr said, controlling the air with her hand. "Say thank you, Detective Marr, for letting me stand up." And Valkyrie said, "Thank you, Detective Marr, for giving me back my ring.

Nothing says "all is good with the world" like exclamation marks, after all.

Yes, well, I wasn't always who I am now. No one ever is. I've spent my entire lifetime becoming who I am.

How... how do I die?" "In pain," he said. "Screaming... She said there was an enemy you had to fight. A creature of darkness. She said Skulduggery fought by your side for some of it, but... she sensed things more than she saw them, you know? She felt terror, and death, and futility. She felt the world on the edge of destruction, and she sensed evil. Unimaginable evil.

We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse

I don't show off. I merely demonstrate my abilities at opportune times.

Subtraction's overrated. It's like adding, only backwards. You're not ever going to need it.

Lil' Darlin - Billy-Ray Sanguine

How stupid am I, huh? Boom, just like that, I'm cut off and now I can see the whole thing. You've never done anything for anyone else. You've never inconvenienced yourself purely for someone else's benefit. The rest of us have. It's what makes us good people. You? You've saved the world, but you're not a good person.

It's been a few years since I was on a date, Fletcher, as you can see by my wife …" "Oi.

her boot catching him right between the legs.

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough.

Skulduggery took a small spool of thread from his pocket and started wrapping it around the door handles. "That'll hold?" Valkyrie asked sceptically. "This is Resolute Thread. The more pressure applied, the stronger it gets. It's very rare. They say it was made from the stomach lining of an emperor dragon, over 2000 years ago." "Was it?" "No, it's just really strong thread.

Skulduggery, you're my best friend and I love you.

And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.

A guy in a stupid mask asked me not to tell you he exists," she said, reaching back to pet Xena. Skulduggery nodded. "Fair enough.

Before we go," he said, and hugged her, "it is so, so good to see you again, Valkyrie." Then he picked her up, and they flew.

The world is a scary place, and it's only getting scarier. The American president is a narcissistic psychopath.

Remember that day I called Valkyrie and told her to take the afternoon off? Yeah, I was stuck in a wall.

Valkyrie: "Not everyone sees things the way you do." Kenspeckle: "And what have I always told you about other people?" Valkyrie: (grinning) "They're idiots.

In your reality and ours," Valkyrie said, "you're still a gigantic asshat.