Quotes from Derek Landy

Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.

By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?' 'You can call me whatever you like.' Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys.

Her parents wanted her to find her own way in life. That's what they'd said countless times in the past. Of course, they'd been referring to school subjects and college applications and job prospects. Presumably, at no stage did they factor living skeletons and magic underworlds into their considerations. If they had, their advice would probably have been very different.

Is he all scarred now?" "Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.

This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is." "Okay." Serpine raised an eyebrow. "Really?" "No, only joking. Do your worst.

They might be kittens," she said hopefully. "They're stalking us." "They might be shy." "I don't think it's kittens, Valkyrie." "Puppies, then?

I think zombies are kind of cute." "Seriously?" "I may be thinking about bunnies. Which one has the fluffy little tail, zombies or bunnies?" "Bunnies." "Then it's bunnies I'm thinking of.

The rain battered the cottage. Valkyrie risked a look up at Skulduggery. "What is it?" she whispered. "It's a box," he whispered back. "What kind of box?" "A wooden one." She gave him a look.

I woke up, a bag of bones. Literally. They had gathered up my bones and put them in a bag and thrown the bag into a river.

Well, to put it delicately, she has the power to suck out people's brains.

You can only anticipate what someone is going to do if you know exactly what that someone has just done.' --Skulduggery

Plans are invitation to disappointment.

He crouched at the car window and looked in. 'What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one.' His finger jabbed the glass. 'That one's a bit ugly.

But if you can confront your inner demons—" "I did confront my inner demon. I punched him in the face and he exploded." Valkyrie had to laugh. "But now he's back." "Of course he's back. He's resourceful. He is my inner demon, after all.

I try not to underestimate my opponents, no matter how ridiculous their beards.

Oh, China. How I have missed you.' 'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.

Are you taking my hat hostage?

Guild doesn't like me." "That's true." "He doesn't like you, ether." "That is mystifying.

Get away from my ex-girlfriend, you moany little whinge-bag.' Caelen took a deep breath, like he was in pain, and stood up. His voice was low, guttural. 'I was hoping I'd get the chance to kill you.' 'You won't be killing anyone, you sad little emo git.' 'You've stood in the way of our love for long enough.' 'Just listening to you makes me want to top myself, you self-pitying Paranormal Romance novel reject.' Caelen glared. 'Stop insulting me.' 'Why? If you cry will your mascara run?

I'm sorry,' said the shopkeeper. 'I can't understand your ridiculous accent.' 'My accent?' 'It is quite silly.' 'So you can't understand me?' 'Not a word.' 'Then how did you understand that?' 'I didn't.' ''You didn't understand what I just said?' 'That's right.' 'You understood that, though.' 'Not at all.' The American glowered.

Clarabelle laughed like she'd just heard the funniest thing ever. "Of course you HOPE you won't die, Valkyrie! Who would HOPE to die? That's just SILLY! But you probably WILL die, that's what I'm saying. Don't you think so?

You don't treat me like a child." He smiled. "Of course I do, but you seem to have this ridiculous notion that being treated like a child means to be treated with less respect than an adult.

Is that it?" "No. That's a wall." "It could be disguised." "You're not very good at looking for things, are you?" "I'm good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.

You're in a bad mood,' Skulduggery said. 'I understand. I do. You're saying things that you don't really mean. It's OK.' 'I'll kill you both.' 'Hurtful things said in the heat of the moment. We're not going to hold it against you, Bison. We're all friends here.' Valkyrie nodded. 'We love you Bison.' 'We do,' Skulduggery agreed. 'You're our favourite Necromancer. You're the cuddly one.' 'Shut up,' Dragonclaw said. 'Both of you just shut up.