Quotes from Derek Landy

So what does that actually mean?' 'To be honest, Ghastly, I haven't a bull's notion.' 'Elder Bespoke should be addressed by his full title,' Tipstaff said. 'Of course,' Skulduggery said. 'To be honest, Your Highness, I haven't a bull's notion.

This isn't funny. She was almost killed.' 'I'm aware. You're waiting to see if I will get angry.' 'I already know you're angry. You're sitting very still and you're talking very quietly. You're getting ready to kill someone.' 'I just need a name.

Have you killed anyone?" she asked quickly. "What? Did you miss what I said, about turning murder into an art form?" "But you haven't actually killed anyone yet, have you? I read your file." He glowered. "Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven't

This girl (Stephanie) is but a few months away from her seventeenth birthday and already she has saved the world and killed a god. What have you done?

Tides do what tides do–they turn.

He took her hand in his and knelt before her. Valkyrie looked at him. He was serious. (...)'Dude, I'm sixteen.' 'I love you.' 'That doesn't make me any older. Stand up.' 'Not until you say yes.' 'You're going to shuffle around on your knees for the rest of your life? Stand up, for God's sake.' 'Be my wife.' 'Shut the hell up.

You've done what?" "I know," he said. "You're impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me.

You are a cynical man, Mr. Pleasant." "We live in cynical times, Miss Cain.

I should go in alone," Valkyrie said, speaking loudly to be heard. "If we both go in, it'll look to official." "So I'll just stay out here?" Skulduggery asked. "But what'll I do? There's no one to talk to. It's boring." "You're standing on the roof of a train," Valkyrie pointed out. "If you find this boring, you really need your head examined. Just wait here. I'll do what has to be done and I'll be find out. "Fine," he said, sounding grumpy. "Don't be long.

Life isn't fair,' Skulduggery said. 'In my experience, death isn't so different.

Violence?"Skulduggery said. "Violence is never the answer, until it's the only answer.

A living skeleton isn't enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?

And what about magic?" "What about it?" "Will you teach me?" "You don't even know if you're capable of doing magic." "How do I find out? Is there a test or something?" "Yes, we cut off your head. If it grows back, you can do magic.

He crouched at the care window and looked in. "What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one." His finger jabbed the glass. "That one's a bit ugly." The American stepped towards him. "What? What did you say?" "Oh, don't worry. I'm sure his personality makes up for his face.

How have you been? You're still as beautiful as ever." "As are you, my dear. I love your shoes." "Aren't they delightful? I saw them and just had to have them. Their previous owner wasn't too keen to let them go, but I can be very persuasive when I want to be." "Is that her blood on the left one?" "And no amount of scrubbing will get it out, either.

You need to find yourself a new hero." - Skulduggery Pleasant.

And then the Necromancers pulled out their sub-atomic machine guns.

Suddenly Saracen Rue looked old and tired, and Skulduggery Pleasant came into focus as what he really was – a genius, a killer, a tortured soul, and the only true dead man among them.

I love you.' 'Yeah, well...' 'You make my heart want to beat.' 'That's nice and creepy. But I'm with Fletcher.(...) Also, these proclamations of your undying love for me are getting kind of... it's a bit much to be honest. Just hold back a little.' 'But my love for you is eternal.' 'That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about.

But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.

Are you sulking?" "Me? No. I don't sulk." "You sound like you're sulking." "I'm just waiting for the violent urges to subside.

It all depends on what people you're talking about helping. That's the wonderful think about just about every religion on the planet - they're all so incredibly selfish.

I am a rational man, but haven't you heard? i'm also insane. It gives me a unique perspective on things.

Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she'd been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain - so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn't, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast.